Your Spouse Wants Out? Here’s What You Can Do – Part 1

It’s one of the worst feelings in the world – and I’ve been there – when you know your marriage is in trouble, but you feel exhausted, burned out, like you’ve tried and tried to make things better but nothings seems to work. And even worse, you can’t tell exactly what’s going on with your spouse, but you get the feeling that they want out of the marriage. This feels downright devastating.

When you find yourself in this uncomfortable place, it often feels like you’re at your partner’s mercy – that all you can do is wait for them to make a decision about whether or not they want to stay in the relationship. It feels like your efforts don’t matter, and that you’ve just got to wait.

That, however, IS A LIE.

It's hard when you're spouse wants out of your marriage.
It’s hard when you’re spouse wants out of your marriage.

In our Marriage Guide: What To Do When Your Spouse Wants Out, we look at this big lie in a practical way. When it feels like there’s nothing you can do – it’s because you’re not looking in the right place! And the key to finding that right place to look? Expertise.

With the right guidance, you can realign your sites and get away from all the things you’ve been trying that just aren’t working. The expertise is there to show you what you don’t know, point you in directions you’ve never considered, and help you find ways to work on your marriage regardless of where your spouse stands.

Without expertise, it’s hard to understand the psychological and physiological components that may be going on beneath the surface of you or your spouse’s behavior. The good news is that you can become your own expert!

When I was struggling in my marriage, that’s exactly what I did – and how I got to where I am today.

Here’s the thing – it takes expertise to build expertise. You have to learn from experts if you want to be an expert yourself, and this is your starting point.

I want to help you face those tough questions, overcome those feelings of hopelessness, and give you the tools you need to become the master of your marital happiness. The Marriage Guide: What To Do When Your Spouse Wants Out is designed to do just that – and it DOES work, no matter how far gone you think your spouse is, no matter how lost you feel. You CAN get your marriage on track.

Next time, we’ll get into part two, and I’ll give you three hugely effective tips to get started on the path to getting your spouse checked back in, and rebuilding your marriage to be the relationship you’ve always wanted. You can do it, and I’m here to help.

For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!

Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com

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10 comments

Tari 9 years ago

This is EXACTLY how my husband is. I tried doing more, I tried ignoring him back. Nothing works..

ceecee 9 years ago

I can't wait for part 2. I need something else to try and get marriage back!!!

Mike_Olsen_SMN 9 years ago

Tari, It sounds to me like your marriage is stuck. Here is a helpful article on "How to Get Your Marriage Unstuck." https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/marriage-unstuck/

Mike_Olsen_SMN 9 years ago

Ceecee, I am glad to hear you are excited about our blog posts. Here is a video you may find helpful as well: https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/save-marriage-possible/

Dave Emm 8 years ago

I'm not married but I'm trying to save my relationship with the woman I want to marry. What is your advice when I am struggling to for her time. How can I apply this when we don't live together and communication is getting more difficult?

Mike_Olsen_SMN 8 years ago

Dave, Even though you are not married, we are glad you stopped by. Communication is very important in relationships. Here is a great article on "How to Really Connect." https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/communication-lesson-how-to-really-connect/

Michelle 8 years ago

Where do I start....I must admit, I have really set myself up. After 21 years of marriage, I had an affair. For a short time(3 months), long distance. Never the less an affair. I stopped the affair, because of look that my husband gave me. I saw his love. But now I am too late. He has checked out and he is now having an affair. He said that I have hurt him so deeply. And I know that I have. He says that he has feelings for this lady. He says that I need to prove myself with trust, which I am doing and He needs time. And he is going to see anyone he wants. He tells me that we are separated, and he is considering whether or not to save the marriage. We sleep in the same bed at night. I know that I am responsible for my part of this disaster. How do I ride out the storm? Do I move out of the bedroom voluntarily? He wants me out. I have no problems forgiving him at all, and moving to the next phase of our newly crafted marriage, but he says that all he can do is see me with the guy I was with. How I get Distracted... when he says that he is going out? I just found Dr. Dana. I wish I would have found her months ago.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 8 years ago

Michelle, We are glad you found us!You should both watch this video on "How To Stop The Haunting Visions Of Your Partner With The Other Person" https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/save-marriage-affair-stop-haunting-visions-partner-person/

Imran 8 years ago

Hello Where do I start, we are married for 8 years I work away for 5 days so the sharing of responsibilities and spending 8 hours is gone out of the window. She works on weekends. She checked out completely saying she doesn't feel love anymore and doesn't want to live with me. But after intervention of her parents she has a change of heart n has changed back in. Her words wish I have a magic "wand to change how I feel". We don't fight we have discussions but I feel the more she wants to the harder she goes away. hELP me plz I just need someone point me in a right direction plz. I love my wife she is and always been my queen.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 8 years ago

Imran, The two of you have different work schedules and that can be very frustrating. I would make it a priority to spend some much needed time together, just the two of you. Take a look at this blog post to help you understand how essential spending time together is: https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/spending-time-together-as-a-%E2%80%9Cman%E2%80%9D-and-a-%E2%80%9Cwoman%E2%80%9D/