Can You Save Your Marriage?

(Even If Your Partner Doesn’t Want To Work On It)

Yes, your marriage can absolutely be saved even if your partner doesn’t want to work on it!

This can be such a scary time. One can feel vulnerable, hopeless and panicked. They want things to change in their marriage but aren’t sure how. Unfortunately, Many people believe that their marriages will get better as soon as their partner changes.

Waiting for this to happen rarely works.

Just one person in the couple changing their priorities, the way they communicate, and how much effort they put into their relationship can dramatically change the dynamic between you.

As a general rule, we should always do the things we want our husband or wife to do.

  • We should say the things we want them to say.
  • We should give what we want our partner to give.

Doing this significantly increases the chance that your spouse will do these things too.

Complaining to them about what they’re not doing, only pushes them away and makes things worse.

For instance, a person who constantly complains that their spouse does not pay enough attention to them only shames them and makes them feel like a failure. This makes them want to avoid the perceived source of these feelings, actually decreasing the time their spouse is likely to give them the attention they’re looking for. Instead, if one happily arranges opportunities and time for them to be together, they’ll more likely get the attention they desire.

Partners are often open to information being relayed to them in kind, non-blaming, non-threatening ways. For instance, saying to your partner, “You know I think I’m really going to try to work on my tone of voice with the kids because I noticed it tends to make the situation worse.” makes it safe for one’s spouse to try to work on the issue as well. Without blaming or shaming them, they’ll see how it works when you change your behavior and it makes them want to try it too. You have changed the family dynamic without much resistance making the whole family happier.

As Gandhi said “Be the change you want to see in the world.

For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the Strong Marriage Now System link below!

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64 comments

Kimberlee 12 years ago

Appreciate it for helping out, good info .

Becky 11 years ago

I have been doing this for the last three months and he has only grown more distant...I am lost..I truly don't know what to do anymore.

Patrick 11 years ago

I would like to think that it were so simple. I have been doing this for 4 months since we separated. My Wife has noticed and appreciates the changes but will not recommit to 'us'. In fact she has now said that she will be divorcing me. I am so willing to work at this marriage but she has now 'moved on' and I fear will never get that 'I'm in love with you' feeling again.

amybarnhartsd 11 years ago

I'm so sorry to hear about the growing distance between you and your spouse. Have you shared any of Dr. Dana's content with your spouse? Have you considered investing in Dr. Dana's StrongMarriageNow System? She'll walk you through step-by-step what to do to get your marriage back on track.....

amybarnhartsd 11 years ago

I'm so sorry to hear that your wife is not willing to recommit to the relationship. I'm sure that's very painful for you. Would she be willing to give Dr. Dana's advice a try as well? Perhaps trying the StrongMarriageNow System might help you both reconnect....

AMy 11 years ago

I have been trying this as well But husband is absolutley set on a divorce even after I have changed my priorities and life for the better. What do I do? how can I get on the same page with him Should I just give up or keep fighting for it. Divorce has been filed but something keeps drawing me back to trying to fight for it. I feel it's so worth it in the end. He just is so not wiling to put in any effort.

amybarnhartsd 11 years ago

I'm sorry to hear about the difficult situation with your marriage and husband's desire for divorce. Here's an article on our blog that may help you: It's all about "Can My Marriage be Saved?" https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/blog/can-your-marriage-be-saved-dr-fillmore-answers/ Dr. Fillmore answers the following questions in the article: 1. Can my marriage be saved? 2. My spouse isn’t willing to work on the marriage, is the marriage over? 3. What do I do if my partner has moved out, is dating someone else or has even already filed papers? Please help! 4. How do you know when to call it quits?

John 11 years ago

Becky, I feel your pain as I am going through the same thing. Deep down I know that after 7 years my soon to be ex-wife still loves me. She has asked for space and I expected it to be an overnight thing. This is not the case on my end! However, I am not sure what your particular circumstances are and how they got there. One thing I do know that if your partner asked for there space give it. Basically you can not break through a wall that your partner has up and that you can not force the will. This takes time espeacially if trust is an issue as it is with our relationship. One day at a time and if your partner is willing seek counseling as I am on my own and it helps immensely. I will add that if you do go for the counseling I recommend that you do it for the right reasons for you not your partner. When people are hurt you have to heal yourself first before you can begin healing each other. I am speaking from experience although inexperienced I was I am now wiser than ever and know how to handle this situation without assumption never assume!

sandie 10 years ago

why is my husband always in denial about his lies and will not admit to anything.

Elizabeth 10 years ago

I am so very hurt and confused. I have bought several programs and tried so hard since my husband of 20 years decided a month ago he no longer wants to be married. He's not in love with me and "I deserve better". He doesn't want to see any videos or read anything and when I told him people in long relationships often go through ebb and flow of love, he said he doesn't believe it. I think he is already involved with someone else. My friend tells me holding on to hope of reconciliation just makes it harder for me to heal. My heart breaks all the time. I'm so lost and sad

Melanie 10 years ago

I am in the exact situation. I have been fighting for my marriage now for over a year. Unfortunately, I know for a fact there is another woman. he has bounced between us both and she is fighting and pulling everything to have my husband. He finally says he is committed to me, and says he doesn't talk to her but I am not a fool. I'm not sure what to do when he looks me in the eyes, tells me he loves me and kisses me then walks out the door to run to the store and doesn't return for two hours. Every time he comes back with a different excuse or different scenario of why it took so long. Not sure what else to do at this point. I'm a stay at home mom and I have absolutely no money to spend on anything else. I will be thinking of you. I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm very lost and extremely sad too.

Cheryl 10 years ago

I don't believe that once your partner or spouse makes up their mind that it's over, nothing is going to change that. People often change as they grow older and the other partner does not grow with them. I think when people have come to a final decision that they can no longer live with that person, all the changing in the world will not help because by that point it is too late. When I made up my mind that I was through with my exhusband I didn't care what he did to try to get me back I didn't want him anymore. He could have given me the world but I did not love him any longer and nothing was going to change that. I grew in life and he stayed in his same rut promising over and over again to change. It never happened. I got tired of waiting and trying. People get tired of bending over backwards for someone that refuses to change. These things might help if you use them from the beginning of a marriage but most of the time its not going to help if its already too late and the other partner does not want to be with you.

Trent Clark 10 years ago

I was served divores papers. How do I change her mind. She says she doesn't want this to happen again later on in a few years.( me having an online affair) I love her I know she loves me she does not want to feel hurt and stupid again. My two boys are really hurting. But her family is not helping matters. What do I do?? It's killing me inside to see my kids hurt so much for something I did and am willing to work on. How do I get my wife to listen? vr Trent Clark

Sharon Dore-wills 9 years ago

what to do! cant talk to him he wants to move on!

karen 9 years ago

Elizabeth i know how you feel my husband of 19 years left our home and all he told me was he was leaving a week after i had a wreck and needed help i ask him what was wrong he said he wasn't happy but don't know what he is not happy about so i told him i wasn't happy sometimes but i don't just run from it he just keeps saying he doesn't know why he is not happy but now he says i am not in love with you but i love and care and will take care of you so i also think he has someone else that would do somethings he wanted and i couldn't do them so i don't know what i am going to either so i feel all the pain you do i have prayed god would just take me i didn't want to live he has started talking to me more now and says to just trust hiim so what do you do i am also lost and sad my heart is broken also sorry i can't help you but i have decided that i tell him just do what ever and so will i but remember who was there when no one else would so if he come back i told him i could forgive anythin if he will tell me the truth of it all hope you will feel better i don't know if you believe in god but if you will get your bible and read the pslams it willl help calm you some and maybe give you peace if you want to talk you can email me at cappgun@bellsouth.net take care i wll pray for you i

Laurie 9 years ago

My husband left me almost a month ago for another woman. He told me to leave him alone and I said I would but that I love him and want to restore our marriage. He do contact me and said if I really want to meet, we could. We met and presented myself as strong, smiled we talked about alot of things. He said he was sorry that he wasn't looking for another woman, it just happened. I said I knew there are a lot of major changes that need to take place for both of us to fulfill our selves. I said I understood but that I wish he would not have done that. I feel we could fix our marriage' he said he loves my family and is great full for all they have done for him. We were always at my parents and no time for us . I said we can change that. My husband and I met in 2001 at a nursing facility we worked at, we had a connection but both were spoken for. We saw each other a fees times at other facilities and were friends. I saw him last in mid 2001 and he was getting married. I often thought of him and how he was, but it wasn't until July 2006 that I heard his voice back at the same nursing home we had met for the first time. We both were single and he told me he looked for me in every nursing home he went to for work. He looked for 5 years and there I was. We started to date and fell in love! We were deeply connected and we are Soulmates! We married on August 3,2008 and have been happily married until we moved by my parents. We spent too much time with my family and lost touch with "us". We said I love you many times a day and kissed and held hands and we were content. February 13, 2013 he took me for a special valentines dinner, a dozen roses and bought me a ruby and diamond ring. The envelope said My Soulmate ... The arrow is still on my heart! I love you my soulmate! We went to Daytona 500 the end of February 2013 for our dream vacation. When we came back everything started to go down. He had trouble at some of his nursing facilities and was gone 8 days working coming home only 5 of those nights because the facility was 1 and 1/2 hours from our home. I started to get suspicious because we had talked of our issues and we were trying to work things though. He presented himself as always by calling on his way home from work , saying I love you all of the time. He was worried about his work that he would have up travel farther which would be more stress, he is a District Manager for a large company. He said Monday April 8 do you think I want to give up 6 plus years, I would feel like a failure. I said no and neither would I. We talked about his kids as they have neglected him and his son wished him dead, another stressor. I always supported him with his children and love them as my own. April 11, 2013 he left me without a clue! I was blind sided. I did the normal call, call, text, text. For two days. He said he needed more. A week and half later he confessed to having another woman which started mid march. He says he is in love wit her, however two weeks or one month can't define "in love" as I see it. We have 11-12 years of love and almost 5 years married. I told him I had to keep him on my insurance and didn't care because same price no matter who on and I can't take him off anyway right now. I stopped saying I love you my soulmate and as soon as I did that he said if I wanted to meet we could. I lost 25 pounds. I understood and we talked seriously and laughed with each other . He said well we met 11 years ago and found each other. You never know what could happen as we could find each other again. I said yes you never know what tomorrow will bring. I did not beg plead or ask him to return. I showed him the woman he fell in love with. He cried some and I did done too. He said he did not hate me and cared for me. I told him if he ever wanted to talk I was here. I need help! I want to save my marriage !

Laurie 9 years ago

Also, my husband said he wasn't filing for divorce because he never wants to get married again. I said the same. He showed signs of caring and emotion , but what can I do? With the other woman , who happens to be one of his employees, how can she get out of the equation ?

Dan jones 9 years ago

I was served with papers out of the blue almost 3 months ago. I've been going to counciling and trying to do anything to save our marriage of 7 years. We've been together for 11 years. We had our son young. She was 20 and is now 28. I'm 31. She has been giving me mixed signals. Put the the divorce on hold but still says she wants a divorce and to be free. We hang out with the kids and there are sparks of the past. Then it's back to distance. Her mood changes daily. I'm trying to not put pressure on her but it seems once we argue of parenting plans it all goes away. Would do anything to sve it but she is saying she wants to date others and wants a long term seperation. I'm putting myself through all this hurt bc I want our marriage and family with two children to stay together. I've read books and signed up for email alerts from various sources. It's all great and gives you tools on how to behave when they don't want to work on it but you can't get anywhere unless the other person wants the marriage and family to stay together. I guess my wife thinks there's someone better for her out there. I know I'm a grat person and our issues can be fixed. No abuse affairs or anything that you would think is beyound repair. I guess you understand my point as even those issues can be fixed. I've had a couple family members work through them. How to stay strong and comitted is going to be the test. I rally think I could wait forever unless she had someone else. I would still take her back then

Andy 9 years ago

I am not reading anything encouraging here in the comments. Anyone out there who has tried any on-line techniques with successful results to reconcile there marriage?

brokenjar 9 years ago

i have been going through the same thing, He filed the divorce in january and i filed a response in march, we went through mediation and he was really determined to get the divorce and get out. he moved all of his stuff out of our marital home 2 months ago to his new apartment but, didn't sleep there at night till 5 nights ago when i finally let him go. He was saying i was stopping him but, i really am not. i got tired of chasing him and pushing myself to him, so i gave him an ultimatum. according to the books i am reading, i need to be ready for losing him since, the program i am going through doesn't really guarantee that he would work on it, but, one thing they guarantee is that, you will earn self respect and respect from him if you let him go and move on with your life. whether he comes back or not, if you do something about yourself like this 90 day program i am starting by dr. clark, you will be a healthier person afterwards. so, i guess, it's worth the shot since we're not losing anything here anymore, right? good luck to us. hopefully a miracle would happen and change our husbands thinking and treatment with us, but, only GOD knows his plans...GOD bless

MANK 9 years ago

well done! my problems are gone My woman came back last night, i thought it's a joke she came to say good bye to me ,then i waited ,suddenly i saw preparing food,bed and hide under branket, i couldn't believe any thing i see, i decide to sleep at the gouge to see what happens next ,only see her come and slow her self on me start kissing and then i realize you are the true healer, its now 2 weeks since she came home ,but doc my sex life has gone down i don't know why , i want to come and order for that medicine. i will phone you later today! i appreciate your services, be there for us please. thanks you to obadamtemple@gmail.com

tony 9 years ago

Im in the same boat, after the action men will change it some-times take a hit in the head , like I just got,, just wish I could get the chance to prove it ....

PJ 9 years ago

Great book on how to save your marriage, even if you are the only one willing to put forth the effort. Highly recommended! Click Here!

Healingthehurt 9 years ago

I am going through this now. I asked for the separation at the end of July 2012 and by September he was dating behind my back his the bartneder that he hired (he bought a bar after the separation and yes he is an alcholic with many demons hes fighting within himself...I was almost 17 when I met him and had never encountered this situation I know now that his demons he will have to fight on his own and that it is those demons that keep bringing him to do what he has done against the kids and I) It wasn't until I saw a pic that she had plastered of them at a Cardinals game that I was fully aware of the other woman. Although I did ask for the separation it wasn't due to me not loving the man it was due to me tired of the fighting, arguing and seeing our 3 children suffering. We tried counseling twice but he goes once or twice then says the therapist is a waste of time. He had an affair for 2 years from 2008-2010 which is why we were in counseling because I knew that we had issues we BOTH needed to work on and heal in order to fix our marriage. As for the latest woman, yes we were separated however this whole almost 1 1/2 years he has said over and over again how he loves me and doesn't want us to divorce..I did end up filing for divorce back in March of this year only because I found out that he had taken this other woman to Vegas for 4 days back in January yet had no money to buy our kids Christmas gifts. Needless to say I was beyond pissed at how he could do that to our children and was even more furious at how he could tell me he wants me, wants his family yet go away with another woman. Currently we both have signed off on the divorce for now and our realizing that we have some issues amongst ourselves that need to be worked through before we can fully move on or by the grace of God stay together. As he tells me IF this woman had meant to him what I ever did and do he would have filed and although he has been with her it was to fill a void of loneliness and was nice to feel loved. Many probably think I am a fool for even contemplating this but I want to know that at least once after 20 years and 3 kids we were upfront honest and truly were at peace with each other.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 9 years ago

Healingthehurt, Thank you for sharing your story. It's good to hear that you are finally being upfront and honest with each other. Hopefully both of you can continue to be honest with each other. If he his still abusing alcohol and it is causing problems, please check out this video: https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/save-marriage-drinking-destroying-marriage/

Tina 9 years ago

Elizabeth what are you doing now since its been a year when you wrote this? I'm curious only because of what you wrote would have been the words I would have written exactly. I'm still stuck spinning while waiting for something I don't really ever think will happen. Currently I'm working with a Life Coach who dabbles in pyshic work and she is saying he will return. Who do you believe? The programs who say hang in there, that the amount of time doesn't make a difference or yourself that says pick yourself up and move on? Whats the right answer??

kim 9 years ago

In some way I agree it only been 3 months ago my husband told me he didn't love me and I didn't realize how much I pushed him away cause I didn't know how to love someone the right way. I have changed everything for the better and he is still wanting a divorce. He is seeing someone else, and no matter what I do its not g owing to change his mind we don't fight are anything we get alone great we always only go out but with are 5 beautiful kids so there is no alone time. He will only spend time with me and kids which we enjoy.......it not getting us back together but I can say that it has taught me how to love someone and how to understand where he is coming from. I always would never give him a chance to get his opinion out and now that I do we don't fight anymore. I sit back and actually listen to him before I open my mouth. In the end my marriage is still broken still he has no love for me. his saying" I love you but I am not in love with you"

Mike_Olsen_SMN 9 years ago

Kim, Your husband me be "checked out" of the marriage but if you are still trying to save the marriage, here is a video for you to view: https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/how-to-save-your-marriage/get-husband-wife-checked-back-marriage/

Veronica 8 years ago

My husband and I are trying that too. He did tell me the spark is gone and that hurt me because it took me by surprise. I had no idea he felt that way because we were fine and said our I love yous daily and were intimate also. I am very possessive and have trust issues even though he has never cheated or given me a reason. I decided I would back off and give him the space he wanted and allow us to have fun separately. It's hard but I'm willing to try to not lose him. So far we are getting along great. He still won't tell me he loves me hut I know with time and once he sees that I am changing he will feel that love for me once again.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 8 years ago

HI, Veronica - I'm happy to hear you two seem to be on the right path. We have lots of ideas on how to keep you there. Please feel free to look around our blog, and perhaps watch this video - What To Do When Your Spouse’s Feelings Have Changed And You Feel Blindsided? - https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/save-marriage-spouses-feelings-changed-feel-blindsided/

Veronica 8 years ago

I still am somewhat worried because he tries to test me by wanting to go out alone without me when I am willing to go with him. So I asked him to take it easy on me since I am willing to actually give him his space but like they say you give them an inch.. So I still don't feel like he's putting in effort to spend time with me. He pretty much called everyone on his contacts from friends to family and no one was willing to go out with him. He doesn't get that people grow and change. It's like he's going backwards. We get along great, but I'm now starting to feel like I would be better off without him. I love him and I don't want to end up hating him.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 8 years ago

Veronica - There are lots of ideas on the site about working on falling back in love with your spouse. I hope you find something that works for you both and you can be best friends. Find an activity you enjoy together. Want to go out with each other instead of someone else. In the meantime, try watching this - https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/people-change-relationship-get-dr-danas-video-answer/

EMME 8 years ago

Cheryl, I am with you on that one. I came to the same final decision.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 8 years ago

And one thing to remember too, Emme and Cheryl, we are pro-marriage, but we are pro-happy marriage. https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/save-marriage-time-call-quits/

Chris 8 years ago

My wife dropped me bombshell 3 months ago she was leaving, received divorce papers within a week, then I found out she had been seeing some one for several weeks put blame on me for my failings, the someone she has started seeing Is a woman. Wife is 47 and suddenly turned lesbian? Her leaving lying and cheating and deceiving hurt, what hurts even more is I would have her back tomorrow if she would only give me chance. So how do I win her back when she is besotted with this woman.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 8 years ago

Hi Chris - That must be a devastating blow. Dr Dana has some advice on when your spouse won't stop cheating. I hope it gives you some direction. https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/ed-asks-my-wife-is-having-an-affair-and-she-wont-stop-seeing-him/

Stuart 8 years ago

I'm with u on that u cannot make up someone else's mind especially when it comes to matters of the heart and when they have been pushed into the arms of another for to long the best thing is to try and be strong and work on changing to better yourself and what ever relationship you have left with your spouse or significant other.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 8 years ago

I agree, Stuart, and I hope you are able resolve the hurt. https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/save-marriage-spouse-recommit-marriage/

Niecy 7 years ago

I've been in separate for almost a year due to infidelity abuse disrespect lies you name it we went threw it. The cheating and fighting has stopped but not the lying disrespect, am i wrong for blocking the calls and text messages, i love her but i can't heal with all of that still going on. Should i just walk away?

Mike_Olsen_SMN 7 years ago

Hi Niecy - We can never say you should stay in an abusive relationship. That is entirely up to you. We are pro-marriage, but pro-happy marriage. We will support you either way. https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/blog/can-your-marriage-be-saved-dr-fillmore-answers/

Daniel 7 years ago

My husband says he doesn't love me anymore and he doesn't believe in marriage. He comes home once a week and he fell for another women....clearly that's why they all say here not in love anymore to me. In the midst of all this I'm now pregnant and we have our 5 year old child. He won't divorce me but he doesn't want the marriage. It's been two years already one out of the two years I had my own apartment. I want out of this misery now. If he doesn't love me I feel I've done everything you guys have suggested and he's getting worse. I'm scared to divorce because I'm pregnant and have no job im really tired though of him treating me this way. He sleeps on the couch when he comes home and he goes out with other women who are so called friends. Is divorce recommended.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 7 years ago

Hi Daniel - If you feel you have tried every recourse - our system, counseling, etc - or if you feel abused in any way, then yes. But if you feel there is a glimmer of hope and want to try, we support you. https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/save-marriage-time-call-quits/

Jeff 7 years ago

My spouse has went to my parents regarding our marital issues. I want to communicate to my parents to not get involved but I don't know the best way to communicate that to them.

Jeff 7 years ago

My spouse has went to my parents regarding our marital issues. I want to communicate to my parents to not get involved but I don't know the best way to communicate that to them.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 7 years ago

Hi Jeff, that is hard to say without knowing your parents. My general advice would be to talk to them at a time you are not angry, in a respectful tone, that the issues are between you and your wife and while you appreciate their support, you feel it would be best handled between the two of you, and if needed, with a neutral third party.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 7 years ago

Hi Jeff, that is hard to say without knowing your parents. My general advice would be to talk to them at a time you are not angry, in a respectful tone, that the issues are between you and your wife and while you appreciate their support, you feel it would be best handled between the two of you, and if needed, with a neutral third party.

Jeff 7 years ago

Is there ever a time when getting parents involved is a good idea?

Jeff 7 years ago

Is there ever a time when getting parents involved is a good idea?

Mike_Olsen_SMN 7 years ago

If you and your wife agree that you admire their marriage and would like to talk to them about the issues you are having, that is your decision to make. Complaining to them about your spouse when your spouse has asked you not to should be avoided.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 7 years ago

If you and your wife agree that you admire their marriage and would like to talk to them about the issues you are having, that is your decision to make. Complaining to them about your spouse when your spouse has asked you not to should be avoided.

Sam 7 years ago

MARRIED FOR MANY, MANY YEARS AND WIFE DENIES OF DOING ANY WRONG. I HAVE OBSERVED HER HUGGING BROTHER IN LAW FOR 20-30 SECONDS AND MANY OTHER GESTURES. THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE BACK OF THE CAMEL IS, THEY HUGGED FOR 20-30 SECONDS THEN HE SLAPPED HER ON THE BUTT WHEN SHE TURNED AROUND. I CONFRONTED HER, SHE SAID, DON'T YOU SAY THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN US. YOU HAVE A GIRL FRIEND, YOU'VE HAD A STROKE, BUT SHE DID NOT SAY, IF HE SLAPPED MY BUTT I DID NOT FEEL THE SAME. AFTER A FEW WEEKS SHE SAID IF HE SLAPPED MY BUTT, I DID NOT FEEL IT.

Sam 7 years ago

MARRIED FOR MANY, MANY YEARS AND WIFE DENIES OF DOING ANY WRONG. I HAVE OBSERVED HER HUGGING BROTHER IN LAW FOR 20-30 SECONDS AND MANY OTHER GESTURES. THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE BACK OF THE CAMEL IS, THEY HUGGED FOR 20-30 SECONDS THEN HE SLAPPED HER ON THE BUTT WHEN SHE TURNED AROUND. I CONFRONTED HER, SHE SAID, DON'T YOU SAY THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN US. YOU HAVE A GIRL FRIEND, YOU'VE HAD A STROKE, BUT SHE DID NOT SAY, IF HE SLAPPED MY BUTT I DID NOT FEEL THE SAME. AFTER A FEW WEEKS SHE SAID IF HE SLAPPED MY BUTT, I DID NOT FEEL IT.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 7 years ago

Hi Sam, at a time when you are not upset, explain to her why these actions make you uncomfortable. It's entirely possible she is not having an affair, but if you don't like how she is acting, you can explain to her why it's bothering you. If you yell at her, she won't listen. https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/how-to-stop-a-fight-before-it-starts/

Mike_Olsen_SMN 7 years ago

Hi Sam, at a time when you are not upset, explain to her why these actions make you uncomfortable. It's entirely possible she is not having an affair, but if you don't like how she is acting, you can explain to her why it's bothering you. If you yell at her, she won't listen. https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/how-to-stop-a-fight-before-it-starts/

Jeff 7 years ago

I want to improve my marriage but the Strong Marriage System costs over $500. We agree not to spend that kind of money without the other one agreeing. My wife doesn't see interested in going this route. I am thinking about buying Dr. Fillmore's book since it is only 16 dollars on Amazon. I am hoping that the book will help me since I can't afford the Marriage System with her not being ok with it. Do you thinking going thru the book would be a good start?

Jeff 7 years ago

I want to improve my marriage but the Strong Marriage System costs over $500. We agree not to spend that kind of money without the other one agreeing. My wife doesn't see interested in going this route. I am thinking about buying Dr. Fillmore's book since it is only 16 dollars on Amazon. I am hoping that the book will help me since I can't afford the Marriage System with her not being ok with it. Do you thinking going thru the book would be a good start?

Roo 7 years ago

My husband completely blindsided me by going behind my back to get another place and move out, didn't even talk about it. He says its over, he doesn't want to make it work. How or can my marriage be saved? I love him and never stopped loving him.

Roo 7 years ago

My husband completely blindsided me by going behind my back to get another place and move out, didn't even talk about it. He says its over, he doesn't want to make it work. How or can my marriage be saved? I love him and never stopped loving him.

Jeff 6 years ago

I'm divorced and I never wanted this i love my wife and family. I feel more widowed then divorced, My wife has alot of mental issues and she hates me now and has seemed to move on with multiple boyfriends but i cant let go. Is there hope for me?

Jeff 6 years ago

I'm divorced and I never wanted this i love my wife and family. I feel more widowed then divorced, My wife has alot of mental issues and she hates me now and has seemed to move on with multiple boyfriends but i cant let go. Is there hope for me?

Mike_Olsen_SMN 6 years ago

I'm sincerely sorry to hear your going through this, Jeff. Though it might not be exact, you may be able to find some advice for your situation here: https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/how-to-heal-the-pain/

Mike_Olsen_SMN 6 years ago

I'm sincerely sorry to hear your going through this, Jeff. Though it might not be exact, you may be able to find some advice for your situation here: https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/how-to-heal-the-pain/

Al D. 2 years ago

All your advice these last couple months helped me get over a hard time, inspired me to move on, and eventually got my ex to be my next girlfriend again, lol. Thanks, you the man ,for help reach (mag1an@protonmail.ch )– Al Davis

Not Willing to Work on Your Marriage? Strong Marriage Now 2 years ago

[…]  The good news is, you can save your marriage even if you’re the only one working on it. Here’s how Does this sound familiar to you?  Got any other questions or topics you’d like us to cover? […]