What Every Wife Needs To Do This New Year

We recently made a post highlighting several ways men could step it up to be ideal husbands in the coming year. This time it’s the ladies’ turn.

Just like last time, these are all tips that will help you get closer to the “ideal” woman for your husband, and while everyone has their own preferences, these tips are pretty universal for most men. Try them out and see for yourself!

Every wife can benefit from these tips.
Every wife can benefit from these tips.

1. Initiate Sex

This is a big one. According to a Men’s Health survey, 66% of responding men said they wanted their partners to initiate sex more often. While you might be rolling your eyes a little, this goes hand in hand with two very important truths about how the male brain works: first, having sex makes him feel connected to you, and when you initiate, he (perhaps subconsciously) will read this as your desire to build that connection.

Additionally, when you initiate sex, or even anything in the wide range of sexual experiences, it makes him feel desirable, masculine, and important. Just like women want to feel wanted, so do men! This gives him a big ego boost, and lets him know that you are attracted to him (and not just having sex because he wants to).

2. Show Your Admiration

This goes right along with number 1! Similar to men’s desire to be wanted physically, they also take a good deal of pride in their own ability to solve problems and be providers. Of course everyone likes to be appreciated and admired, but it holds special importance to the psychology of men.

Making sure that your husband knows that his efforts are appreciated, and telling him specifically what he’s doing right, what you find attractive, and what you depend on him for will help him feel empowered – and most men love to feel powerful!

3. Have Fun!

Think about how your husband bonds with his friends. It may have very little to do with time spent talking to each other, and everything to do with shared activities – from poker night to team sports, working on a project together to simply taking in a movie or show they both enjoy. Men can spend hours with one another barely saying a word, and still walk away with a strong sense of connection to the people they care about.

With this in mind, try having some fun with your husband! Tackle some physical work around the house together, play a sport or active game, or simply find a project that engages you both! The experience of a shared activity will bring you closer together, and your husband will appreciate the time spent together on his terms.

4. Allow For Downtime

Men have a habit of retreating sometimes, but it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care or that he doesn’t adore you and the kids. All it means is that he needs a little downtime, and that’s just fine! Sometimes women can misinterpret this, and instead of giving their husband time to collect his thoughts or get some rest, they add more stress by prying about “what’s wrong.”

While it isn’t true for all men, many aren’t the greatest at explaining their intentions – so he may not come out and say that he needs a little peace and quiet, but if his actions indicate just that, he probably does. He’ll truly appreciate having it, too.

5. Try Something New

Similar to engaging in shared activities, go on an adventure with your husband! Lots of men have a streak of “adrenaline junky” in them, and what better way to show him how much you love his adventurous spirit than to try something exciting with him!

Depending on your experience, and the level of adventure you’re willing to get into, this could mean a whole range of different things – but the first step is to talk about it! Tell him you want to do something exciting, and then figure out what fits into your budget (and your fear tolerance). Don’t be afraid to take a little risk from time to time. Getting through some adventurous activities will draw you closer as a couple, and show your husband your brave side!

Again, every man is different. Not all husbands are dying to go on adventures, and plenty of them may get all the downtime they need, but simply putting these tips in the forefront of your mind, and doing your best to act on them, will show your husband just how important he is to you.

For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!
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Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com

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6 comments

jack 9 years ago

None of the 5 tips ever came up in this marriage ever, even after i built a $300,000 home with no mortgage. OH, did i mention HER 5yr affair 5yrs into the marriage 44yrs ago. All i want from HER is a DIVORCE.

Tom 9 years ago

Everything here is dead on. All we want as men is to be loved and be able to love our partner. It takes two to do this. When only one is doing this, it won't work.

Hannah 9 years ago

This article and the last one have to go together. This isn't just "5 tips for your wife to make your marriage better."

Mike_Olsen_SMN 9 years ago

Jack, I am sorry to hear that your wife had an affair. If you need some advice on saving your marriage and surviving the affair, please check out this video: https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/7-steps-to-survive-an-affair/ Best Wishes!

Mike_Olsen_SMN 9 years ago

Hannah, You are correct; the articles do go together. It takes two to build a better marriage. Here are five more ways to keep the love alive! https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/surefire-ways-couple-stays/

Mike_Olsen_SMN 9 years ago

Tom, I agree, both people in a relationship want to be loved and it takes two people to make it work. Here is an article you may enjoy, "10 Things Happy Couples Do" https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/10-happy-couples/