A regular feature of our blog is Dr. Dana answering your questions. If you’d like your question answered, please comment below:
Today’s Question: We’re Constantly Sniping At Each Other
My husband and I don’t “fight,” but we are constantly sniping at each other and I’m tired of it. It’s like we just can’t be kind to each other any more, like we don’t know how. Can you help?
– Diana from Franklin Tennessee
Always remember the Golden Rule when it comes to your marriage. Your spouse deserves your kindness and you deserve kindness in return.
Answer:
Dear Diana,
I’m just going to be blunt: without kindness in your relationship, your marriage will be miserable. If this sniping continues, it can damage your relationship and put it risk for even bigger issues. The sniping can also potentially escalate into badgering and bullying, which can wear down the foundation of your connection to each other. It’s very important that you turn that pattern around. I encourage you to make a sincere effort to be more loving.
Here are some things you can do to bring kindness back into your marriage:
- Say “yes” a lot more than “no” when your spouse asks for a favor or for help.
- Be willing to share that last piece of pie or cookie because being kind is being generous.
- Listen with your heart.
- Don’t interrupt your spouse.
- Be polite and say “please” and “thank you” when speaking to your spouse.
- Show respect for your mate.
- Let your spouse know how much he/she is appreciated.
- Don’t roll your eyes.
- Routinely look for the good in your spouse.
- Be helpful.
- Don’t allow unkind comments to flow from your lips.
- Make sure that your teasing is fun and not hurtful.
Try these tips for a while and see if your spouse doesn’t start to become kinder to you!
What many of these tips come down to is Dr. Dana’s Golden Rule Of Marriage, which states:
You Must Give In Your Marriage What You Want To Receive
If you want be loved, appreciated, and wanted, you must show love, appreciation and desire for your spouse. If you want to be heard, you must listen. Check out this article for a lot more info on this critical topic.
For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com
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