Marriage Advice Love | Give Your Love Life A Boost

Feeling like your love life could use a boost? Give your relationship a holiday! Have you ever noticed that when we go on vacation it is often easier to “get it on?”

The truth is vacations often provide us with the opportunity to escape from all the things that stress us out when we’re at home – work, parenthood, that huge pile of laundry next to the hamper.

Taking a break and getting away from our often hectic lives is a great way to rejuvenate our relationship and reconnect with our partner.

We can take a minute to breathe, turn off our various electronic devices and tune in to each other.

And guys, one of the keys to female arousal seems to be deep relaxation and a lack of anxiety. The thing to understand about a woman’s arousal process is that it generally takes women a little bit longer to get engaged in the moment and get going then it typically does men. In today’s world, people’s minds tend to rev at high speed – she may be thinking about work, the kids, chores around the house, what happened to a friend, etc. In order to slow down her mind and feel the sensations in her body, a woman needs time to make that happen and an environment free of distractions. By free of distractions, I mean, for most women, it’s really hard to pay attention to the man of her dreams when she’s surrounded by dishes in the sink, piles of laundry or paperwork. So, where else better to relax and decompress than on a relaxing vacation?

Pump Up The Excitement With New Experiences

But it’s not only the stress-free atmosphere of a vacation that can help set the mood. Exposure to new and novel experiences can stimulate the release of dopamine in the brain, a neurotransmitter which plays a big role in sexual excitement. Use your vacation as a chance to try something new… in and out of the bedroom.

As you and your partner plan your trip, sit down separately and draw up lists of all the places you find exciting. Fill your lists with places and activities you’ve never experienced before. Then compare your lists and see where there’s overlap. After planning a getaway that will make the both of you happy, make sure there’s lots of room in the schedule for intimacy. You may not want to work your way through the entire “Kama Sutra” but perhaps there’s just one new position you’ve been longing to try. Or you can use the privacy of your hotel suite to try out a new toy, put on a new piece of lingerie, or experiment with role-playing.

Vacations provide safe spaces in which you can lower your inhibitions and try something new. And those new experiences — whether in or out of the bedroom — can increase arousal levels.

Of course, not all vacations are a walk in the park, and some of them do come with extra baggage – the kind you can’t stow away in the overhead compartment. Kids, tight schedules and sometimes even other people who you may be vacationing with can make it difficult to let go completely. But between quick getaways, organized retreats, and kid-only activities, there’s always a way to overcome these obstacles.

And even if you’re home this week, with no immediate vacation plans on the horizon, that doesn’t mean you need to give up on the benefits of vacation sex. With a few simple touches and a little bit of imagination, you can skip the travel and enjoy a sexy staycation right in your own home and bedroom. Just keep in mind, both people need to remember to set the mood. One cannot criticize their partner about their job, their weight, the meals, etc., or how they treated the kids earlier in the week and expect them to feel willing to be vulnerable and eager to have sex. Instead, send the kids to school (or to the grandparents for the day and night?) and enjoy a touch of Paris by having crepes and café au lait for breakfast. Then on to the Mediterranean for tropical cocktails and massages with whatever body oils you would like. Then how about dinner in Mexico (or Italy?) – the world is your oyster and you may enjoy whatever you like best with each other!

What are your thoughts on marriage advice love tips? Is a vacation more likely to put you in the mood? Any tips for turning up the heat when on holiday? Share them below.


Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders,

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Frida 11 years ago

You're probably going to have to go tgohurh Tricare to find a counselor but make an appointment with a doctor on base if you can and ask his advise. Maybe you can get a referral to a counselor on base.Many military personnel are reluctant to seek counseling of any kind but with the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan taking a toll on mental health it has become more acceptable. If your husband won't go, seek counseling on your own. Your husband's squadron should recognize this as a valid medical/mental health issue. He is more focused on the job and therefore more valuable to the Air Force when he doesn't have to worry about problems at home.I doubt the V.A. will help and wouldn't recommend them anyway. I've been there!And it looks like Holly's experience is more current than mine. A good place to start.