Despite their many quirky, strange and failed marriages, the Beatles did get one thing (though they may not have applied it) right about marriage.
“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”
You must give in your marriage
what you want to receive.
If you want to be trusted, you must trust. If you want kindness, you must be kind. If you want to be forgiven, you must forgive. And most importantly, if you want to be loved, you must give love.
This can be a difficult concept as many people are waiting for their partner to “get it right” before they will change their behavior.
“I will stop complaining and nagging as soon as you follow through on what you promised to do.” “I will do what you ask as soon as you stop complaining and nagging.”
“I will take out the trash as soon as you do the dishes.” “I will do the dishes as soon as you pick up all your clothes off the bedroom floor.”
“I would be more physically affectionate if you would just make me feel beautiful” “I would pay more attention to you if you weren’t so disconnected from me.”
…… and on and on and on.
Holding back until you get your needs met first simply doesn’t work as chances are your partner is doing the same thing.
I encourage people to look themselves in the mirror and ask “What does it mean to be a good husband?” or “What does it mean to be a good wife?” Once you figure that out, act accordingly.
You would be amazed at how quickly things improve in your marriage when you, yourself, follow the Golden Rule. So much so that it bears repeating. In the immortal words of John, Paul, George and Ringo:
“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”
So break out the old Beatles records, find a mirror and start following the Golden Rule today. You’ll be happy you did!
To learn more Marriage Success Skills, check out our StrongMarriageNow System.
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, StrongMarriageNow.com
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