The Affair is Over – How Much Detail Should We Talk About?

So, your marriage has survived an affair – that’s an incredible accomplishment! It’s important to acknowledge that you’ve made a difficult choice to rebuild your marriage and stay connected to the person you love, even in the face of such a major obstacle.

How much detail is too much after an affair?
How much detail is too much after an affair?

But as you’re beginning to mend the damage done by infidelity, you’ll have to face up to a particularly difficult challenge: deciding how much detail to discuss with your spouse. By “detail,” we mean the inevitable questions about exactly what happened, when, where, why… All of the painful specifics about the affair itself.

This is actually a very delicate subject, and should be approached with care, patience, and sense of balance. On one hand, discussing the details of the affair can help rebuilt trust. It shows that there’s nothing to hide, that the offending spouse is committed to rebuilding the relationship.

However – and this is the important part to consider – you can actually do more damage to your marriage by delving into the gritty details. Too much specific information will likely create mental images that are too difficult to shake, which then lead to barriers to healing.

Pay close attention to the video below for some deeper information on this topic, and where your REAL focus should be when recovering from an affair.

For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders,

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