Are you unsatisfied with the sex in your marriage? Do you want more or better sex? Do you just want to be wanted? Is the romance gone?
Timing and Environment Sets the Mood
We talked in our November blog post: “What Turns a Woman On” about a woman’s arousal process and that most women need to get started in the sexual process before they can even begin to decide if they want to have sex.
The second thing to understand about a woman’s arousal process is…
It generally takes women a little bit longer to get engaged in the moment and get going.
In today’s world, people’s minds are typically revving at high speed — she may be thinking about work, the kids, chores around the house, what happened to a friend, etc. In order to slow down her mind and feel the sensations in her body, a woman needs time to make that happen and an environment free of distractions. By free of distractions, I mean, for most women, it’s really hard to pay attention to the man of your dreams when you’re looking at dirty clothes on the bed and kids toys on the floor. And speaking of setting the environment, both people need to remember to set the mood. One cannot criticize their partner about their job, their weight, how they made dinner, or how they treated the kids that night and expect them to feel willing to be vulnerable and eager to have sex.
Understanding a Man’s Arousal Process
Most men usually have a much quicker arousal process. A glance, a touch, a kiss, can generally get him raring to go. Women, however, mistakenly assume that because it’s quick, the feelings behind it aren’t just as deep and meaningful. That’s simply not true.A woman should not dismiss the depth of a man’s feelings for her just because he can access them quicker than she can. Most men do think about their wife throughout the day and want to connect with her. And remember Mother Nature’s “Big Joke,” a man actually feels connected by having sex.
To learn more about how to have more (and better!) sex using our online videos and downloadable exercises, check out our StrongMarriageNow System. Or, check out our video where you can discover how to rev up the passion in your relationship again…
Marriage sex counseling: Are you having trouble with your sex life? How can we help? Please comment below.
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com