Set Goals To Improve Your Marriage

Nearly every married couple will go through periods of difficulty. While some may be more serious and longer lasting than others, no marriage is all sunshine and happiness at every single moment. Perhaps even more common than periods of difficulty, however, are small nagging problems that can drag on for the duration of the marriage. These little things, however, can become major problems over time.

Because just about every relationship has at least one area to work on, it’s pretty safe to say that we all want to improve our relationships in one way or another, but where do we start?

The first step is to determine what you’d like to improve – this can be anything, from the largest issues to the tiniest little annoyances. This won’t necessarily be easy, because it will involve admitting that you’re doing something wrong, or at least not doing something as well as you could be. Even though it might be tough, identifying places to focus your efforts (even if it’s just one at a time) as a pair is essential. Once you’ve picked something to work on, you have to set some clear goals – create a benchmark to strive for.

When you lay out specific, explicit goals (and agree upon them), there’s no turning back. Even if the goal is as simple as “hold hands more often,” it will be on both of your minds, set in stone, and you’ll both adhere to it – like having a “buddy” to help keep you accountable, if the goals are agreed upon beforehand, you can support each other in pursuing them.

Set goals to help improve your marriage!
Set goals to help improve your marriage!

Setting goals and sticking to them are often two very different things though. Here are some rules to keep in mind:

1. Actively think about your goal – keep it in the front of your mind
2. Take action to move toward your goal every single day
3. Allowing yourself minor relapses is counterproductive – stay vigilant
4. Work toward your goal for your spouse, for yourself, and for both of you – and know the importance of each reason
5. It’s good to celebrate your successes, but don’t celebrate too soon – it takes time and effort to form new, good habits

No goal is ever achieved instantaneously. Small victories over time will eventually lead to large breakthroughs, and this is exactly how taking steps to improve your marriage works. Little by little (with active goal setting and pursuit) your spouse will help cleaning up after pets, you will remember to turn off the coffee pot, you’ll develop a good way to resolve battles over entertainment devices, or resolve any other little issue that is tugging at the solidarity of your marriage.

The point is this: it takes practice, but if you set realistic goals and work toward them every day (not just when you feel like it), positive change isn’t so difficult at all!

Do your marriage a favor, just talk about the little stuff that bugs you (and ask what you might be doing to annoy your spouse). Once it’s on the table, you can begin the steps to solving the problem before it gets blown out of proportion. Don’t let the little things get in the way of big happiness.

For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!
[i4w_m_VSL_promo1]
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com

Related Posts

divorce

What To Do When Your Wife Says “I’m Done”

It’s about the last thing any of us wants to hear: that our spouse has officially given up hope for saving and improving the marriage, and is ready to call it quits. While this may seem like an utterly hopeless scenario, it isn’t. In fact, it may be a wake up call for both of […]

How Women Cause Divorce – 4 Common Mistakes

Divorce can happen for a huge range of reasons, and every couple is a little bit different. In most cases, though, dissolving a marriage is – to some degree – the “fault” of both members of the relationship. You both contribute to the climate of the marriage that leads to divorce… But sometimes one party […]

Are They Really Unhappily Married or Just Depressed?

Do you consider yourself unhappy? A term like “unhappiness” is broad… We know what it feels like, but do we always know why? Or, to take it even further – when we think we know the cause of our unhappiness, how often are we 100% correct? In many cases, unhappiness seems bigger than one single […]

How To Get Over Years of Disappointment

Here’s the next video in our blog series “Dr. Dana Answers Your Questions.” Today’s question is from Joe: “How do you improve your marriage after years of disappointment time and time again?” Please comment below the video to ask your own questions or just to let us know what you think. We’re frequently shooting new […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

4 comments

845dad 8 years ago

how do you know if your wife is suffering from depression or something else?

darlene 8 years ago

I've been married for almost 23 years. My husband was diagnosed with fibromyalgia just before we married and I've been his carer ever since.To be frank over the past couple of years I have been struggling to cope with it all and have been considering leaving and it's breaking my heart. My story is long and complicated but 23 years of marriage is a lot to throw away and if there's any chance at all of saving my marriage and my own sanity I'm all ears.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 8 years ago

Hi 845, A doctor would be the best route to go but I know it can be difficult to get your spouse to see what you see. Here is some advice you suspect depression: https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/health-issues-harming-marriage/

Mike_Olsen_SMN 8 years ago

Hi, Darlene. I know that chronic health issues can really take their toll on both of you. Do you have anyone you can rely on to help or can you look into getting some assistance? https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/health-issues-harming-marriage/