In 2012, RealAge test results from more than 28 million people ranked America’s 50 largest metropolitan areas in order to uncover the best places to live to stay young.
While aging is inevitable, the rate of aging is not. In other words, each city’s ranking is based on a unique assessment of the healthy lifestyles, (or lack of them!) in that metropolitan area. They reviewed two dozen factors that could influence a person’s “RealAge” to reveal the best places to stay young. Lifestyle choices have the biggest impact on a city’s age. Cities with the lowest stress are basically the “youngest.” Stress, smoking, diet and exercise are the primary factors that were looked at when making the assessments. Maybe you don’t live in one of these cities but we can still learn from them. Let’s take a look at how these residents take good care of themselves, tend to have lower rates for high cholesterol, hypertension and diabetes. We too can adopt the healthy habits that are more common in these cities regardless of where we live. And this translates to feeling younger and happier!
And the top 10 cities are: (drumroll, please!)
1. San Francisco-Oakland-San Jose
Bay area residents rank first for eating their fruits and veggies and second for eating whole grains - not a big surprise as this is the area that gave birth to the local-food movement. This area is also best in the nation for not smoking and second best for exercise. All of these factors help keep blood pressure, cholesterol and stress levels considerably healthier.
2. Salt Lake City-Ogden
This region is notable for happy marriages and second best for not smoking. Residents’ other healthy habits include taking aspirin daily and keeping an optimistic outlook both of which are good for the heart!
3. San Diego
Enjoying an ideal climate, this Southern California city is the best city for exercise (no surprise as this area is home to 80-plus golf courses and radio stations broadcast daily surf reports!).
It’s also third best for optimism and fourth best for not smoking. A sunny (haha) outlook and healthy habits help keep San Diegans’ diabetes, blood pressure and stress levels in check. Dr. Dana and Amy can attest to this as this is our hometown!
4. Minneapolis-St Paul
Residents of this vibrant city are first when it comes to eating whole grains, which helps to have the best blood pressure, too. It’s also second best for low stress and third best for adequate sleep and vitamin D - all of which make this a youthful city!
5. Denver-Boulder
Residents of the Mile High City and its neighbor Boulder rank best in the country for optimism. They’re also third best for exercise, thanks to more than 850 miles of off-road trails for cycling, running and hiking. All of that activity helps Denver-Boulder rank as the best place to dodge cholesterol and diabetes and the second best place to find healthy blood pressure.
6. Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill
Home to academic powerhouses, such a Duke University, this area forms the famous “Research Triangle.” This helps foster a lively, optimistic and socially connected city. This area ranks third for healthy cholesterol and fifth for healthy blood pressure. It’s also fifth for strong employment levels.
7. Boston-Worcester-Lawrence
Here is the home of Harvard University and the Boston Marathon, this area combines brains and brawn. Smart habits, such as exercise and eating plenty of whole grains, fruits and veggies help this Yankee region nab the second best spot for healthiest cholesterol.
8. Austin-San Marcos
Yet another college town, folks in this area can brag about the best employment rate which helps foster the lowest stress and second best optimism in the country.
9. Washington-Baltimore
Home to the nation’s power brokers, this area does have residents with a lot of stress. But they also have a pretty good diet and relatively low smoking rates. More importantly, they rank best for income and a healthy third for employment. Both provide residents solid financial resources to look after their health.
10. Los Angeles-Riverside-Orange County
No, it’s not the plastic surgery that keeps these residents looking young. Instead, these Southern California residents maintain plenty of heart-healthy habits, including exercise, eating fruits and veggies, taking aspirin and not smoking. However, the test did show room for improvement - they’re angry and they have a relatively high divorce rate.
Do you live in one of these cities? If not, do you nevertheless engage in these healthy habits? Please comment below.
Not feeling so healthy these days? Worried about your marriage? Check out our free Webinar...
"5 Secrets to Save Your Marriage"
Feeling stuck? Want to save your marriage but aren't sure how? Register for our FREE "5 Secrets to Save Your Marriage" Webinar and you'll discover:
- The answer to "Can my marriage be saved?" Dr. Dana Fillmore will tell you how almost any marriage can be saved even if you’re the only one working on it
- 4 Relationship Myths that are probably getting in your way – Believing in these myths can actually prevent you from saving your marriage
- How to avoid common mistakes you may be making in your marriage. Did you know that most people’s attempts to save their marriage fail?
- The most important thing you need to do to save your marriage – And you’ll be surprised it’s practical and easy to apply for almost everyone
- Clear, straightforward steps that you can take immediately to get your marriage on track
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart
co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com
Lao Tzu, the Father of Taoism, said,
"Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream."
Not surprisingly, Mr. Tzu was an extremely wise man.
The truth is many people continue to believe that the “grass is always greener” - they are so hurt or angry or frustrated (or just plain bored) that rather than focusing on fixing the relationship they are in, they simply tell themselves that they are sure to be happier in a different situation whether that be with another person or on their own.
The fact is the grass is greener in the field you water
Taking care of your marriage, putting time and energy into the relationship you’re already in can lead to a happier marriage. And how you “water” this field is critical.
As Mr. Tzu so aptly points out, nothing positive comes from approaching things with worry and fear. Instead, it is important to look for solutions to difficult issues, to take responsibility for our part in conflicts, to see where we might be contributing to the problem and make an effort to change.
It is also important to realize that our mood is our choice
In other words, no one is responsible for how you feel except you. We can choose to think about and pay attention to all the stressful things in our lives or we can choose to pay attention to all the things for which we are truly grateful (which hopefully includes our spouse!) This is often a tough concept for people to understand and accept, so here’s an illustration. Have you ever been out to a really nice restaurant and the service that day was poor, the food took forever to get there and the person at the next table was really loud? Well, you could choose to focus on all that and let it ruin your night OR you could choose to pay attention to your wonderful spouse, appreciate that you can afford to dine at such a nice establishment, joke about the whole thing and be thankful for all the things that are going right in your life. Both perspectives are options. You decide what you pay attention to, and therefore, you decide how you feel. Just remember, you are responsible for your own mood, (it’s not anyone else’s job to “make” you feel happy – that’s your job!). As Mr. Tzu notes, choose to find the positive. Look for it. You may have to look around a bit, but it’s there!
And consider this - staying and working on yourself and through the issues in your current relationship, (rather than heading off to supposedly greener pastures), allows you to learn and, therefore, grow into a better person and a better partner.
The fact is, the grass may look greener . . . but it’s really Astroturf.
For more information on how to get your marriage on making your relationship its best without office visits, check out our webinar, 5 Secrets to Save Your Marriage today!
"5 Secrets to Save Your Marriage"
Feeling stuck? Want to save your marriage but aren't sure how? Register for our FREE "5 Secrets to Save Your Marriage" Webinar and you'll discover:
- The answer to "Can my marriage be saved?" Dr. Dana Fillmore will tell you how almost any marriage can be saved even if you’re the only one working on it
- 4 Relationship Myths that are probably getting in your way – Believing in these myths can actually prevent you from saving your marriage
- How to avoid common mistakes you may be making in your marriage. Did you know that most people’s attempts to save their marriage fail?
- The most important thing you need to do to save your marriage – And you’ll be surprised it’s practical and easy to apply for almost everyone
- Clear, straightforward steps that you can take immediately to get your marriage on track
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart,
co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com
Here’s one of those points that women typically don't like to hear. In 15 years of doing marriage counseling, I've never met a man who had an affair, who was satisfied with the sex life in his marriage. And by satisfied, I don't mean just regularly having sex; I mean, I've never seen a man want another woman when he felt his wife really wanted him.
In a survey of married men, 50% of them rated their sex life as a grade C or lower.
Want to know what the top two things that all men who were surveyed wanted from their wives? Increased initiation (they want you to go after them) and increased enthusiasm (they want you to be happy about it!) In bed with a partner, your average man needs to feel valued. Appreciated. Accepted. And yes, desired. He needs to feel good about himself.
The bottom line, ladies, is that men simply want to be wanted. They need to know you're into it and into them.
And not just into him when he's on his best behavior. Society, our mothers, our girlfriends have taught many of us to use sex as a reward for good behavior. Many women think that whether they feel sexual or not is dependent on everything around them, how he behaved that day, whether he did the dishes, whether he complimented her on her outfit, whether he watched the football game for too long, etc. But this simply isn’t true or fair. The fact is, women need to take responsibility for their own sexual feelings. We'd never have sex if it depended on our husband's being perfect. Nobody's perfect. (No, ladies, not even us.) Using sex as a reward teaches your man that it's something you're willing to do but not something you want to do. Be careful, because this leaves him vulnerable to someone who really does want him.
But what if the wife doesn't want him or want him very much? Let's be honest, sometimes women don't want to have sex because the sex isn't that great. This just brings me to a very important point - Ladies, it's extremely important to talk about sex, to figure out how you are satisfied sexually and then to ask for what you need. Most men want to please their women. They are just afraid to look like they are failing so they don't ask her what she needs for fear they haven’t yet given it to her and she will find him lacking. Instead, be kind, be spontaneous, be adventurous (if that’s what turns you on), but let him know!
So, figure out what works for you and tell him. You'll both have a lot more fun turning each other on!!
Do you and your spouse know what turns each other on? Please comment below.
Check Out Our Video: How To Regain the Love, Rekindle Passion and Save Your Marriage
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart
Co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com
Every generation has its way of dealing with major institutions, and marriage is no exception. Young people today are not getting married at the rates set by older generations, but what looks like a shift away from ideals of marriage may just be a shift in priorities.
More and more young people are attending college, developing their careers, and seeking financial stability before tying the knot, and maybe that’s a good thing. We know that some of the leading causes of divorce are financial disputes and personal differences that develop over time. Perhaps the younger generation has taken a cue from the problems of their predecessors, and simply want to wait until they can go into marriage as a mature, stable individual.
A recent study from the Pew Research Center focused on this younger generation, ages 18-29 (often referred to as “millennials”), to explore the declining rates and older ages associated with marriage. A resounding 70% of millennials said that they are in fact interested in marriage.
This same demographic also sees a reduced importance of marriage as essential for raising children. While many may see this as a negative, it can be taken another way. Millennials’ views on marriage may in fact show an increased focus on marriage for the sake of love and companionship, and not as a social obligation or spurred by children.
A genuine interest in marriage is still present, but at a later age, after other personal goals are met, and as a conscious choice, not a societal requirement. Only time will tell, but the younger generation’s take on marriage may very well lead to healthier, longer lasting relationships.
Have you lost sight of why you got married? Does it feel like love and companionship aren’t at the top of your list anymore? Check out the Webinar, "5 Secrets to Save Your Marriage" today to get your marriage on track without office visits. It could be your first step to feeling young again!
Dr Dana and Amy Barnhart
Find Out How To Save Marriage. Go To http://www.strongmarriagenow.com
Different aspects of our health are closely linked. A better feeling body generally results in a more stable mental state. One aspect of psychological or emotional stability/fulfillment will likely carry over into others.
Marriage is associated with psychological well-being, with healthy relationships reducing the amount of stress and depression in people’s lives. This makes perfect sense, as dependable spouses can rely on, and communicate with, one another. A happy marriage, with its benefits to mental health, is also associated with longevity and reduced likelihood of depression.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, however, failed marriages can have drastically negative effects on both the divorcing couple and their children. Studies show that children who experience parental divorce are more likely develop acute cardiovascular disease in adulthood. As children are affected by these relationship (and usually living arrangement) changes, the damage to their emotional health can also affect their physical health, both in the present and later in life.
The same is true for adult couples. The disintegration of a marriage can lead to depression, substance abuse, and a myriad of other emotionally unhealthy conditions, which of course can lead to physical and mental health problems as well. It’s all connected!
Problems in marriage can be stressful, but the consequences of divorce and uprooting your current life may have long-term effects on your physical and emotional health. It is in your interest (and your family’s) to solve the problems before it’s too late.
For more information on ways to save your marriage, without an office visit, check out the StrongMarriageNow system today!
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, StrongMarriageNow.com
Find Out How To Stop Divorce Go To http://www.strongmarriagenow.com
At StrongMarriageNow.com, we often focus on the personal side of relationships and how you can better relate to your partner. Here is a perfect example of the scientific side of things: some research to show that our psychological states are directly reflected in our relationships.
Read the article here.
Like we have been stressing all along, this researcher found higher success rates for couples who could communicate their negative emotions constructively, without resorting immediately to personal attacks. You see? Problems are solvable if we approach them the right way.
It is good to keep these psychological and biological factors in mind as we assess our own marriages, because they are truly relevant. At StrongMarriageNow.com, we focus more on behaviors and specific experiences that make your relationship unique, but the scientific side is just as important. We are all biological creatures, after all, and plenty of what our brains and emotions tell us stems directly from our physiological and psychological needs (whether we are conscious of them or not).
Keep these things in mind when you communicate with your spouse, and use the tools you learn from Dr. Dana to navigate some of those more “animalistic” behaviors. Our biology is a significant factor in every relationship, but it can’t be an excuse. We must be responsible for our own behavior.
Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness!
Dr. Dana and Amy, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com
Find The Best Marriage Advice By Visiting http://www.strongmarriagenow.com
Want more (and better!) sex in your marriage? Do you feel like sex is a chore? How about more romance with your sex? Do you just want to be wanted?
Understanding What Turns a Woman On
There is a key point that I want you to understand about the average woman's arousal process: most women need to get started in the sexual process before they can even begin to decide if they want to have sex. To use a baseball metaphor then, this means that many women need to at least be “up to bat” or “rounding first base” before their minds and bodies let them know if they even want to finish the game. The problem is that women tend to wait to really feel like having sex before they even “step up to the plate.” (Okay, the metaphor is getting old now - but you get the point...) One of the reasons for this is that most women don't feel safe starting something, if they're not sure they'll want to finish it. In other words, over time, many women stop giving passionate kisses to their husbands while standing in the kitchen because they feel horribly guilty if they get things started but don't end up having sex. This can develop into a pattern of avoidance. Many women even admit to picking fights and feigning the ever-famous headache just to avoid disappointing their husbands. Let me make that clear, they don't do it to avoid sex necessarily; they do it so that neither of them will have to feel the pain of a rejection.
How does this affect men? Well, one of the most common complaints I hear from men is, "The affection is missing. She doesn't touch me anymore; she doesn't kiss me anymore; she doesn't even want to hold my hand." Inevitably, I hear the woman say “Yeah, right. He just wants to have sex.” She believes that if she starts with an affectionate kiss on the couch and doesn’t take it any further, he’ll be mad and she’ll feel guilty. And often, she's right. Men can take this lack of follow-through very personally and can have a very negative reaction, so that it sometimes seems easier for both parties to avoid the whole thing.
So what can we do about it? We talk a lot about that in the StrongMarriageNow System, so come take a look! But remember, sex should be fun! We have to let go of the pressure - the pressure we put on ourselves and especially the pressure we put on our partners.
To learn more about how to have more (and better!) sex using our online videos and downloadable exercises, check out our StrongMarriageNow System.
Are you having trouble with your sex life? How can we help? Please comment below.
5 Secrets to a Sexy Marriage
Want to rekindle the passion, excitement and frequency in your sex life? Register for our FREE "5 Secrets to a Sexy Marriage" Webinar and you'll discover:
- How to have a lot more success in the bedroom. Dr. Dana will tell you how to have the loving, sexy, passionate and fulfilling marriage you want, even if you're the only one working on it
- 4 Myths that may be getting in the way of your sex life - Believing in these myths can actually prevent you from improving your sex life and your marriage
- How to avoid common mistakes you may be making that can put your marriage at risk
- The most important thing you need to do to have an amazing marriage - And you'll be surprised it's not that hard to do
- Clear, straightforward steps you can take to immediately get your marriage on track and make it more fun and exciting
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com
Find Solid Marriage Advice & Save Your Marriage. Visit http://www.strongmarriagenow.com
It's not surprising that people are getting married at older ages. The US Census Bureau recently reported that the average age of married couples has gone up by about 5 years. With the average wedding costing upwards of $20,000 it is certainly not for everyone. Factor in the ever increasing rates of divorce and it becomes clear why people are choosing to wait. This article gives some more insight on the reasons people choose to get married, or not.
Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness!
Dr. Dana and Amy
Get The Best Marriage Advice & Save Your Marriage. Visit http://www.strongmarriagenow.com
The reality is that once we are married, we spend a lot of time as husband and wife, paying the bills, taking care of the family. We spend a lot of time as mom and dad, playing with the kids and parenting in a marriage. But if we are not careful, we spend very little time as a Man and a Woman.
My research and experience over the years has shown me that there are several key things that couples need to keep in mind in order to have a strong, healthy and happy sex life. One of the important ones is keeping the bedroom sexy! In the bedroom, make sure that the Man and Woman roles are the top priority.
There are several things that a couple can do to ensure this. First, decorate the bedroom in a way that both people approve and enjoy. For some people, there’s nothing less sexy than pink frilly sheets, for others, Pittsburg Steeler pillowcases turn them right off! The couple should mutually agree upon what they both find to be a pleasant, comfortable decor.
Second, the bedroom must feel safe for the couple - meaning, it must be sound-proofed and lockable. Nothing can turn the mood off faster than worrying about your kids walking in or hearing you. You shouldn’t have to feel that you need to suppress what’s going on with you.
Third, a messy bedroom is just not sexy. It immediately puts one or both of you back in your other roles. Plus, 70% of divorces are caused by disagreements over money or an unfair division of labor. There’s nothing like having unpaid bills or dirty socks on the floor to bring up resentments about money or an unfair division of labor.
Fourth, no TV. No interactive electronics, laptops, or Facebook anywhere around the event (before or after). Couples that have televisions in their bedroom have half the sex of couples who don’t and if you’re over 50 that statistic drops to ⅕ of the sex.
Further, put a little effort into setting the mood. Now, this is different for different people. Some people hate to be cold, others hot, so the temperature needs to be comfortable for both partners. Some people like candles. Many people like music, although keep in mind that the type of music may change depending on the mood for the evening (i.e. sometimes we’re in the mood for Yanni and sometimes we’re in the mood for AC-DC!)
Monogamy, by definition, can be boring. You can have champagne and caviar every day and eventually you’ll get sick of it. So when thinking of making over your bedroom, don’t be afraid to add something new whether that be toys, mirrors, or chocolate syrup. Keep it interesting.
And finally, while it’s important to have a sexy bedroom, remember that the bedroom is not the only place you can have fun. In the backyard, in front of the fireplace, and even on the infamous kitchen table are all great options. Don’t be afraid to spice it up!
To learn more about spicing up your sex life using our online videos and downloadable exercises, check out our StrongMarriageNow System.
Want to Discover How to Have a More Passionate Sex Life?
Are you dissatisfied with your sex life? Are you longing for more romance, intimacy and passion in your relationship? Discover how in our free webinar, “5 Secrets to a Sexy Marriage". Click on the button below and register for our FREE webinar. It may be just what you need to spice things up.
Have you recognized any other issues holding you back? How can we help? Please comment below.
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com
Improve Your Relationship With Sex Therapy . Visit http://www.strongmarriagenow.com
Everybody has heard the saying, “It takes two to tango, right?” They take that to mean that both people have to take dance lessons to do it right. Well, we’re using it in a slightly different way here – In reality, if just one person learns some new steps, some “new moves” if you will, and does something differently, the whole dance can, and will, change.
Let me tell you of a real-life example. We heard from one of our email list members, Charlie. He’d read a few of our articles, watched a few of our videos and was seriously considering buying the System. He was considering it because he and his wife, Cindy, had been fighting over having a messy house for over 20 years. He’s an admitted neat freak and she apparently is, (according to Charlie), well, a bit of a slob. His way of dealing with this was to go to work all day, come home and then bitterly complain about the house, pretty much making her feel lousy about herself until they went to bed. So he decided that the System might help them. There was a serious glitch in Charlie’s plan, though. Charlie told us that Cindy, who worked all day taking care of their four kids, claimed she had no interest in putting one more thing on her plate. In other words, she wasn’t willing at that time to try out the StrongMarriageNow System. We assured him that just one person applying the lessons could nevertheless make a big difference.
He went ahead and bought the System and later contacted us. He told us that after watching the sections on Understanding Each Other and Resolving Conflict, he had decided to change his approach. He stopped complaining and blaming and took the time to find out what was happening in Cindy’s life, what was really going on with his wife. As you can imagine, she was more than happy to tell him! Turns out that Cindy had all kinds of reasons for not cleaning the house - some from her childhood, some based on unresolved issues between her and Charlie, and some based on sheer exhaustion. Once Charlie figured this out, once he began to truly listen and try to work things out with Cindy, two things happened: he stepped up and started helping Cindy a lot more, but just as importantly, Cindy stepped up once she felt like Charlie really made the effort to understand her. Not surprisingly, (to us anyway!), Charlie reports that the house is clean today. On a side note, when Charlie made his initial efforts to change his behavior, Cindy noticed! That’s when she finally agreed to check out and then start using the System herself.
So what’s the moral of the story? One person, learning a new skill and changing their behavior, “changing their steps” if you will, can dramatically change the entire dance.
To learn more about Relationship Myths using our online videos and downloadable exercises, check out our StrongMarriageNow System.
Have you recognized any other Relationship Myths holding you back? How can we help? Please comment below.
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com
Work On Your Marriage Problems. Visit http://www.strongmarriagenow.com
