We recently received the following email:
“Thank you my beautiful friends for sending me all these emails during 2012. My marriage crumbled into pieces in the beginning of 2012. I had no hope. I thought it was all going to finish in divorce, but God almighty placed people like you in my life to encourage me not to give up on my marriage. I followed your instructions, read all your emails, found peace, hope, and rest in a time of deep trouble. Here we are still together, not 100 percent, but celebrating Christmas together. Thanks, keep on encouraging, helping couples to stay together and work on their issues. God bless you and keep you!”
What a wonderful message!
This just goes to show that when things seem impossible, they can (and do) get better! It may have taken the course of a year, but with the right tools and the right attitude, this particular couple was able to get things back on track, and you can too.
Now, at the very beginning of the year, is a perfect place to start rebuilding your marriage – make it your New Year’s Resolution to focus on your marriage in 2013, to break bad habits and stop destructive cycles in their tracks, to spend more quality time together, to reestablish the connection that may have slipped away over the years.
The New Year is an excellent time for new beginnings – something about the date rolling over to a new number makes us feel like we’ve got a new lease on life, so why not take advantage of the motivation? You can start with something small, like designating a “date night,” working on better communication, or any other specific area to improve on. Keep in mind, though, that it’s all part of the larger goal of strengthening your marriage throughout 2013.
As you form your plans, remember that this is for the mutual benefit of you and your spouse. It might not be easy every step of the way – you may have to confront some problems or face some unpleasant truths about your own behavior, but this kind of honesty with yourself and your partner will only help you fortify the strength of your marriage. Stay motivated and remember the message above – things seemed dismal at the beginning of the year, and through perseverance and the lessons available in the StrongMarriageNow System, they were able to get things back on track.
What can you do to improve your marriage this year? What you accomplish in 2013 will last for years to come.
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com
Thanks Diana, you've blessed me the whole of 2012. This year 2013 may God give you encouraging massages so that you continue guiding us to a successful marriages.
I appreciate your message about making your resolution a re-focus and commitment to improve your marriage. It’s unfortunate that we need such an arbitrary event such as new years to restart (anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, etc. seem to be more symbolic) but it’s still the right spirit to have in order to save your marriage. My husband and I are doing something similar. I don’t want to suggest our marriage was in trouble, but I think we both realized some of the fire had reduced noticeably. We weren’t spending our free time together. He was mostly watching sports and I would use the opportunity to work on my writing. We are in the same home but retreated into our separate corners. We also weren’t communicating nearly as much, we were falling into a sort of rut in that our schedules and conversations were becoming quite predictable. Looking back, I’m glad we decided to make 2013 a sort of second honeymoon for ourselves, a time to devote to each other once again. I’m glad he felt the same way, it was a reminder to me that he is just as emotionally and mentally committed to the marriage as I am. He too wants to do all he can to ensure our happiness. We’ll be celebrating our fifth anniversary in June. I’m looking forward to recharging our 2013 resolution when it comes around.