The holidays are supposed to be a time for togetherness, love, family, and fun. All of the other stuff, stressing about presents or travel plans, preparing meals or putting out decorations, is extra – and not worth sacrificing the things that really make the holidays special.

It can be a stressful time of year, there’s no denying that, but all too often, couples let themselves get wrapped up in all of the trappings of the holidays instead of taking the time to get some enjoyment out of them. Of course you feel obligated to attend the family party or decorate the tree, but there’s nothing stopping you from doing these things together, and at your own pace.

Chances are, you’ve got a day or two off of work and the kids are on a break from school, so why not snatch the opportunity to really get some quality time in with your family? Instead of that last minute shopping trip, relax by the fire. Instead of breaking your back to put up that last string of lights, have a “just the two of us” gift exchange with your spouse.

There’s really no need to create undue stress for yourself, especially during a time of year that’s supposed to be joyous and full of love. The holidays are only as difficult as you make them, so don’t overextend yourself to please everyone. Make a point to get that quality alone time in with your spouse in addition to the time you spend with the whole family – these are the people you should really be concerned with this holiday season.

When you’re running late to grandma’s house or you forgot to wrap so-and-so’s gift, don’t get angry or stressed – remember that it’s ALL a bonus to the real spirit of the holidays: spending time with the people you love.

From everyone at StrongMarriageNow, happy holidays!

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Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com