Is the romance fading? Are your date nights feeling a bit boring? Want to know how to get the spark back?
You’ve probably already set aside one night out of every week for a date night. But if you haven’t, it’s time to start. But as with all things, there’s more to it than that. Rather than patronizing the same familiar haunts – the same restaurants, the same group of friends – it’s time to do this right.
A date night centered around the same things you’re already doing is no way to get away from the monotony. It’s no way to break out of a rut.
Spending quality time together is only half of the equation. The key is to keep it interesting.
The key to maintaining romance and love is to spend quality time together and always keep it new and interesting.
The novelty of experiencing new things together is what’s important here. This can be as simple as trying a new restaurant that’s just opened up downtown or as adventurous as a drive with no particular destination in mind. And it is also a large piece of the most important lesson Dr. Dana can teach you.
And with this in mind, here are:
10 Unique Date Night Ideas for the Fall Season
- Go to the county fair
- Stroll through a historic neighborhood
- Go to an art fair
- Watch the sunset
- Play a round of miniature golf
- Walk the dog
- Go stargazing
- Go to a concert in the park
- Go for a bike ride
- Go on a picnic
Also… there are 90+ more ideas for the perfect date night available to you through the StrongMarriageNow System
It’s vital to your marriage to embrace opportunities to connect and to spend quality time together. But remember that this is only half of the equation. The key is to find new things to experience together. The truth is in the science.
The Science Behind Experiencing New Things
Most scientists that study love and marriage ultimately come to the conclusion through research and experimentation that the decline of romantic love is inevitable. The butterflies of early romance, for instance, fade quickly and are then replaced with feelings of long-term attachment and familiarity. However, several experiments have presented researchers with a caveat to this long held doctrine.
In one such study that took place over 10 weeks, couples that undertook more “exciting” date nights showed evidence of a more increased level of marital satisfaction when compared to other couples that went on more “typical” date nights. And all of this in only 90 minutes’ time each week!
Another more recent study used more primitive methods and acheived similar results. In this experiment scientists assigned couples the task of either walking back and forth across a room (to represent a more mundane activity), or binding their wrists and ankles and adding the task of pushing a ball as they crawled back and forth (this to represent a more challenging activity). The couples that were challenged with the latter activity showed meaningful changes in their levels of love and satisfaction.
The fact is that recent studies of the brain show that romantic love can actually last for years – 10 years (even longer!) – into a marriage. Though it’s not yet clear why some couples can acheive this kind of long-term satisfaction, but one thing is certainly clear… they didn’t do it without the drive to work at it. And part of working at it is allowing yourselves the time together that you need – and the experiences that make that time worthwhile and memorable. These experiences are what scientists call “novelty” and most scientists concur that these novel experiences play a large role in creating this romantic intensity.
You can read more about these studies at the New York Times
Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness!
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com