Over the course of the next several posts, we’ll be covering five signs that your marriage is healthy and strong. These are meant to help you evaluate two things – what you have in your marriage that you might be taking for granted, and what your marriage might be missing.
If one (or more) of these five signs is missing from your marriage, it’s not a death sentence! In fact, if these things seem absent, it just means that you have some new insight into what you should focus on.
Without further ado, let’s dive in.
1. You Feel Good About Yourself
Self-esteem is a tricky thing. Some of it comes from within us, and some of it can hinge on the way we’re treated by others, the environment we grew up in, and so much more…
While the causes (and fine details) of how we feel about ourselves are extremely complex, there’s some very simple connectivity in “feeling good when things are good.” If you feel good about yourself – if you feel loved, important, safe, and stable – there’s a very strong chance that your marriage (and other things in your life) are going well!
If the opposite is true, however, it’s time to examine the possible causes. Just as the sources of high self-esteem can be complicated, so can a lack of confidence or feelings of perpetual insecurity. You can, however, examine things in your life to look for causes.
If you feel hesitant to spend time with your spouse, if they berate you or belittle you, if you feel like less than yourself when you’re around them, that is a serious problem. If marriage is a source of self-esteem issues, it does not bode well for the long-term success of the relationship. Your partner SHOULD lift you up, not bring you down.
Even if you struggle with self-confidence in a general way, it’s a great sign if your spouse helps give you a little boost. If they see you as smarter, more attractive, more talented, etc. than you generally feel, you may eventually start to believe them!
A strong marriage is about coming together to make something greater than the sum of its parts, and if you can make each other feel confident, then you’re doing just that!
We all have things we’re self-conscious about, and a loving, supportive spouse will recognize those insecurities and try to help you overcome them – just as you should be doing for them. A marriage is a team, and part of that teamwork is showing each other the path to personal growth – and offering support every step of the way.
Think about how your spouse makes you feel, and how that factors into your overall self-esteem. If they lift you up, great! If not… It’s time to have a serious discussion about the way you’re being treated.
Join us for Part 2 next time!
For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com