The ADD Marriage

Could ADD be to blame for your marriage woes?

When we think about Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), we often associate it with young people, namely rambunctious kids, and largely overlook the number of adults who live with ADD every day – many of them undiagnosed.

Unfortunately, many of the symptoms of ADD can have a negative effect on a marriage, especially if the couple isn’t aware of how it might be working against them.

Even if your spouse has been diagnosed with ADD, it’s possible to overlook it as a cause of problems and assume they are just being inattentive.

Here are three major ways ADD can negatively affect relationships:

1. Forgetfulness

For many people who struggle with ADD, it can be difficult to keep thoughts straight, and the result is that somewhere in the jumble, some things get lost.

From a spouse’s perspective, this can be extremely frustrating if it means forgetting to pick something up, forgetting to pay a bill, etc.

Is ADD affecting your marriage?
Is ADD affecting your marriage?

It can feel like they simply don’t care enough to remember, or that they just aren’t trying hard enough – but for sufferers of ADD, that’s simply not the case.

They may be trying very hard, but these slips can still happen.

2. Impulsivity

One of the other defining characteristics of ADD is the tendency for rapid-fire, seemingly random thought patterns.

This is partly why it can be difficult for some people to concentrate or remember specific instructions – because their thoughts are moving at 100 miles an hour!

Because of this tendency, people with ADD can seem very impulsive and scattered, jumping from one activity to another, running out the door to do something without consideration for much else.

It can even cause them to say things without thinking them through – all leading to frustration for their spouses.

3. Lack Of Follow Through

Because it can be difficult to stay on top of multiple tasks or concentrate on multiple things, people with ADD may have a tough time completing projects or following through with promises.

Unfortunately, this can come off as a lack of responsibility, a lack of ambition, or worse – a lack of intelligence.

The problems don’t come from a lack of intelligence or ambition, but rather from difficulty finding and concentrating on the next step long enough to take it.

If your spouse has been diagnosed with ADD, or even shows many of the symptoms, it’s important to understand that these “bad” habits are not entirely under their control, and that getting angry or upset does little to improve the situation.

Instead of getting frustrated, try to take a step back and think about how a condition like ADD could be affecting the your spouse’s thoughts and behaviors, do you your best to support them through tough times, and work together to find coping mechanisms and systems to help them address the problems at hand.

For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!
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Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com

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12 comments

Lisa 7 years ago

My husband takes Strattera for his ADD. It works well for him. Better than the stimulant type medications, those seemed to cause swings, not as stable.

Lisa 7 years ago

My husband takes Strattera for his ADD. It works well for him. Better than the stimulant type medications, those seemed to cause swings, not as stable.

Frank 7 years ago

This is hitting too close to home for me. I scheduled a doctor's appt right after I read this article. I might have ADD and it explains why I have great difficulty listening and concentrating with my wife.

Frank 7 years ago

This is hitting too close to home for me. I scheduled a doctor's appt right after I read this article. I might have ADD and it explains why I have great difficulty listening and concentrating with my wife.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 7 years ago

Hi Frank, I think it hits home for many, and I'm glad to hear you are taking steps to help both of you.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 7 years ago

Thanks, Lisa, for sharing what is working well for your husband! Maybe it can help someone else as well.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 7 years ago

Hi Frank, I think it hits home for many, and I'm glad to hear you are taking steps to help both of you.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 7 years ago

Thanks, Lisa, for sharing what is working well for your husband! Maybe it can help someone else as well.

Cheryl 7 years ago

What a wonderful man you wife has. I didn't get one like you. Good Luck

Cheryl 7 years ago

What a wonderful man you wife has. I didn't get one like you. Good Luck

alicerennie1 7 years ago

!My Name is Cowee Chrystal.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from engage to Single…when i went to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life…I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job…he told me he gonna help me…i don’t believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to Germany the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he’s busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday.My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she’s doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my my girl friend called and he said i haven’t seen anything yet… he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume work on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit i have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with a baby boy and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to prophet.abuvia@abv.bg I cant give out his number cos he told me he don’t want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he also have a web site if you want to visit him there’ he will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck. his web site is https://prophetabuviasolutiontemple.webs.com/ his phone number is +254-7921-77506 Cowee Chrystal

alicerennie1 7 years ago

!My Name is Cowee Chrystal.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from engage to Single…when i went to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life…I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job…he told me he gonna help me…i don’t believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to Germany the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he’s busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday.My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she’s doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my my girl friend called and he said i haven’t seen anything yet… he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume work on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit i have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with a baby boy and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to prophet.abuvia@abv.bg I cant give out his number cos he told me he don’t want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he also have a web site if you want to visit him there’ he will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck. his web site is https://prophetabuviasolutiontemple.webs.com/ his phone number is 254-7921-77506 Cowee Chrystal