Long Distance Marriage – Can It Work?

In some circumstances, whether for school, work, helping family, or any number of reasons, married couples may have to spend significant amounts of time apart.

So, this raises a very important question: can long distance marriages work?

The answer is yes, they can – but it probably won’t be easy.

You can overcome the challenges in a long distance marriage.
You can overcome the challenges in a long distance marriage.

There are a few inherent problems with long distance relationships, but if you know what the common problems are going into it, and if you’re steadfast in your commitment to overcoming them, keeping your marriage strong over a great distance is certainly possible.

The largest problem, of course, comes with lack of physical contact. Even if couples speak to one another daily, there’s a component of physical affection that simply has to go missing when distance is a factor. Because we are biologically wired to build connection through physical contact, it can put a strain on the nonverbal, intangible link between you.

To overcome this problem, couples dealing with long distances marriages have to communicate regularly, and whenever possible, travel to see one another – even if it’s expensive or inconvenient, very few things can replace the power of physical touch.

With modern technology like Skype, Facetime, or other video chatting software, couples can at least see each other when they’re apart. If you’re in a long distance relationship, do everything you can to keep that connection alive. Communication is key.

In a similar vein, one of the other biggest challenges for long distance marriages is the risk of emotional affairs. Because people tend to compensate and reach out to others when their emotional needs are unmet, and because distance makes it hard to know where your partner’s emotional satisfaction lies, it’s easy to drift into connections with other people without even noticing.

This is another reason that communication (and total honesty) is so important when keeping a marriage intact over distance. If you don’t know where your partner’s emotional needs are, you won’t be able to meet them – the same goes for them your partner meeting your needs.

Long distance is tough, and frankly, not recommended for anything more than temporary stretches of time. Sometimes it’s unavoidable though, and if this happens to your marriage, just remember how integral communication is to your success – and your happiness.

Talk to one another every day. Share pictures, use video chat, and make sure you’re being totally honest about your concerns, your emotional needs, and what’s going on in your separate lives.

Long distance marriages can work, but only if both people are putting the marriage at the absolute forefront of their minds, and putting in the effort to keep the connection strong.

For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!
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Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com

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