How to Stop Fighting About Money

money trouble

Do you fight about money all the time? Do you resent each other even when you don’t talk about it? Do you feel as if you are no longer a team? Are you unsure what to do about this?

Having a Marriage Plan

Now it’s time to talk about money – an especially touchy subject, right? Yes, but an extremely important one. While most couples report that the number one area they want to improve in their marriage is communication, statistics actually show that money and/or an unfair division of labor are at the root of 70% of all divorces. Sometimes the impact of money is quite obvious:

“We’re fighting all the time because she can’t stop spending.”

“I only spend money because I have to do everything around here!”

And, sometimes it’s a bit subtler:

“He’s stressed and angry all the time because he hates his job, but can’t leave it because we need the money.”

She doesn’t want to have sex anymore because she’s exhausted from watching the kids all day and taking care of everything around the house, but we can’t afford childcare or a housekeeper.”

Often times these more subtle issues are further complicated by underlying resentment. For example: she secretly resents him for not making enough money or helping around the house and he secretly resents her for the constant nagging and reluctance to get a job.

Fighting Over Money Can Weaken Your Marriage

I don’t believe money is the root of all evil, but it sure brings a lot of couples into my office! Constant fighting over money can taint even the strongest of marriages and can cause couples to lose sight of what is truly wonderful about their lives and wonderful about each other. So in this article, we’re going to begin to cover some basic strategies on how to effectively handle money; we’re going to begin to discuss and create what I like to call a “Marriage Plan.”

Many of you may know that to run a successful business, one needs a “Plan,” a structured outline detailing the company’s intended goals and how it intends to reach those goals. Well, a successful marriage needs a similar kind of plan. This plan includes what I like to call a “Vision,” a “Budget” and “Job Descriptions.” While these terms might sound intimidating to some people, agreeing upon them, and specifically, StrongMarriageNow System. Dr. Dana will walk you through how to get on the same page with your spouse about the future, how to resolve disagreements around money and how to fairly divide responsibilities. There are many exercises and videos to help you finally end the fighting over money.

Financial problems marriage: Do you and your partner share the same vision for your marriage? How can we help? Please comment below.


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Carolyn 13 years ago

I just wanted to let Dana know that you should not be telling everyone that a marriage is over once the spouse filed for divorce there are many divorces that get stopped because because a couple decided to work things out or the spouse realize that they made a mistake. God can restore marriages even when it seems impossible. I listen in on one of your classes but once you stated that a marriage was over after a spouse filed for divorce I didn't have any more interest in your program. heres a website that you can go to and read all the testimonies that was restored even after a spouse has filed for Please don't tell peoples there marriages is over after a spouse has filed. because God can restore a dead marriage.

amybarnhartsd 13 years ago

Thanks so much for your comment. We do in fact communicate that almost any marriage can be saved even if you've filed for separation are headed for divorce or have even divorced already. We believe as you do that marriages go through normal ups and downs and can be saved even after significant issues. We dedicate ourselves to helping couples and families stay happy and healthy together. Thanks again for your comment.

Rama 11 years ago

I would like to add a line.....May be a marriage can be restored even after filing a divorce. But the chances of reconciliation and rethinking from both or either of the partners is so small that people around them often warn or caution them or it can be taken for granted that it is almost over......its like sending some one in to coma......coma is not death but chances of survival will be too low to hope for better. After filing even attorneys play a lot of role to get the divorce. Societal and individual egos and personal hurt will blind both or any one of the couple