For many young couples, and those beginning to approach middle age, there’s a huge misconception about the physical side of marriage. For whatever reasons, people tend to think that sex just disappears when you turn 50 – but that couldn’t be further from the truth!
Now, it is true that many people also begin to experience some physical changes as they approach the 50-year mark, and that can cause some serious concern about what that might mean for their sex lives. They may feel their overall sex drive beginning to wane a bit, their bodies may be changing and aging (and because of it, they feel less attractive), or even have changes in their lifestyles that make sex less of a priority.
Even if these things are happening, it doesn’t have to be the end of your sex life though!
In fact, many, many people in their 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond can still enjoy a thoroughly fulfilling sex life that brings them closer to their spouse in an ongoing way. It’s totally common!
And what’s more – it can be some of the best sex of your life. Here are just a few of the reasons why:
The Time to Indulge
By the time you’re in this 50+ age bracket, the kids are likely grown and out of the house, you’ve developed some financial stability, etc. – and that means that you’ve got more time with the house to yourself… If you’re retired, even better!
I think you can imagine where this is going! More free time and fewer responsibilities means – you guessed it – more time to indulge in some physical intimacy with your spouse. Instead of worrying about being interrupted or having to maintain a hectic schedule, you can take your time, enjoy yourself, and spend as much time in the bedroom (or anywhere else in the house) getting physical as you like!
Experience
While the youngsters may be full of energy, you’ve got something they don’t: experience!
The more you do something, the better at it you get – and sex is no different. People underestimate how much knowing what you like and don’t like (and what your partner likes and doesn’t like) plays into the quality of a couple’s sex life. It’s about quality, not quantity!
By the time you’re in your 50s, you know your own body AND how to respond to your spouse’s. You’ve (hopefully) learned to take your time, to enjoy the whole spectrum of sexual experiences, to focus on your partner, and plenty of other skills that make for a great lover!
This is one of BEST parts about sex after 50. You truly know what you’re doing.
Connectivity
Related to the point above, if you’ve been married for a long time, you also have an interpersonal connection stronger than many young couples. Through the years, you’ve likely encountered all kinds of ups and downs, seen each other at your most vulnerable, and by this point, know each other better than just about any other person on earth…
Translate this into your sex life, and you begin to realize why middle age can be a time of incredible satisfaction and intimacy.
Sex – especially between a married couple – is more than just physical, and you’ve both had the time to grow a deep, meaningful connection to make your intimate moments the best they’ve ever been.
Your Most Important Sex Organ
Despite what you may think, the most important part of your body when it comes to sex sits right between your ears! That’s right, even if your body is aging, you continue to sharpen and strengthen your brain throughout your adult life!
For many people, being in their 50s is a time of prime mental acuity, and because sex is as much (or more) mental as it is physical, that means more brain power can equal more bedroom power.
A sharper mind and more life experience will lead to a greater understanding of the complex topic that is sex, as well as an openness to new things, an understanding of your partner’s needs, and more awareness of your own thoughts and actions.
Having a strong and experienced mind is one of the best assets you can bring to your sex life, and developing one takes time.
You have to understand that sex is an important part of maintaining and happy and healthy marriage, and that traversing into your 50s doesn’t have to mean slowing down or sacrificing a fulfilling sex life. For all of these reasons and more, it can actually be the most enjoyable, intimate, and connected time of your life!
For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!
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Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com
