We’re all busy. From kids to jobs, hobbies to projects around the house… Friends, family, church, school, chores… There’s always plenty to do, right? And when you get around to some time to relax, you’re almost too burned out to do much but sit and catch your breath.
Busy or not, though, we make choices every day to spend time on the things that we deem important – and shouldn’t your marriage be one of those things?
Far too many couples settle into just getting through day-to-day life without dedicating time and energy to the relationship they share, and ultimately pay the price as they focus too much on “responsibilities” and not enough on each other.
When was the last time you and your spouse spent an entire weekend together? This means away from kids, away from work, away from all the things that would pull you back into your daily routine… Can you say that, any time within the last year, you’ve set aside a full 48 hours to focus on each other, to spend quality time, and grow your connection?
If you haven’t, it’s time to start rethinking some priorities. We say time and time again that quality time together is an essential part of any strong marriage, but even if you’re getting in a date night each week or finding some time to enjoy together first thing in the morning, there is tremendous value in “getting away” every once in a while.
It’s one thing to plan a date, enjoy it, and come right back to “real life” in time to pay the babysitter or get ready for work the next morning – but it’s another thing entirely to take a vacation, a camping trip, or something of the sort. Imagine a “date night” that didn’t have to adhere to any kind of schedule, allowing you and your spouse to talk the night away, romp around in the bedroom all evening, enjoy a breakfast in bed, sleep in… Whatever you like!
When you truly step away from your “normal responsibilities” with the intention of spending quality time with your spouse, you can laugh and love with one another without even thinking about work, bills, or any of the other things that can take your attention away from each other.
It doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive, either. The only thing that really matters is that the two of you seclude yourselves and dedicate the time you share to each other. If this is your chance to discuss some problems you’ve been facing, so be it. If it’s all fun and games, that’s great too!
It should be a time of safety, intimacy, and openness with one another, with the sole goal of returning home a stronger couple than when you left.
We recommend that couples shoot for this kind of weekend “date” at least a couple of times a year. It can be tough – due to all of those responsibilities you need escaping from sometimes – but it’s more than worth the trouble. Even if it means forking out some money for a hotel or childcare, missing some other event you wanted to go to, or putting in some extra hours at work to be able to take off for a weekend… Again, it’s all worth it. Just a couple days of you and your spouse together, away from the rest of the world, will grow your connection so much more than dozens of date nights mired by distractions or looming responsibilities.
Now, if you decide to indulge in a weekend getaway, make sure you aren’t taking extra baggage with you. Leave work at work. Don’t bring other things to distract yourself with. Put down your phone. Ignore the sports game. Whatever you have to do – make sure your attention is solely on your spouse.
Make the effort to plan a getaway with your husband or wife, and start a tradition to “check out” a couple of times a year. Start planning right away!
For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!
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Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com