Infidelity can cause some of the biggest challenges any relationship has to endure, but suspicion can also wreak havoc on a spouse who wonders if their spouse might be cheating, but isn’t sure enough to approach such a difficult conversation.
Today we’ll be looking at seven signs that your husband may be having an affair. While these are definitely oriented toward the habits of cheating men, they are also red flags for any relationship. If these signs seem familiar to you, it might be time to have that tough talk you’ve been putting off.
1. Deleted History
Now, we’re not advocating that you keep tabs on everything your husband does, but if you notice that he’s constantly deleting his internet history, or more importantly, his text message and phone call logs, you may have some reason for suspicion. Most people don’t clear out text messages until their phone is full – so if he’s sweeping his message history under the rug, he may be hiding something.
2. Picking Fights
Tension and arguments can happen, of course, and it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything suspect going on – but if he seems to be more and more critical, looking for every little way to cause problems or spur an argument, he may very well be covering for his own transgressions by lashing out at you. This is a classic behavior of people feeling subconsciously guilty.
3. His Routine Changes
Many men (and people in general) are creatures of habit, following their preferred routines when it comes to meals, showering, departure times, etc. If his routine changes drastically, or seemingly overnight, with little explanation, he may be making concessions (or time) for someone else.
4. He Pays More Attention To His Appearance
If your husband is taking an increasing interest in his appearance, whether that be his hair, his physique, or even the clothes he chooses to wear, but the “new looks” don’t seem to be for your benefit, you definitely have a reason to be suspicious. It is fairly rare for men to take a new interest in their appearance on a whim – they usually have a reason, and it may be to impress (or continue to impress) someone else.
5. Dodging Questions
If he can’t account for where he was, who he was with, or what he was doing, you have every right to be suspicious. Again, we’re not advocating keeping your husband on a leash, but if he’s dancing around your questions, giving you vague answers about how he spends his time, or getting overly defensive when you ask, it’s pretty likely that he’s hiding something.
6. A Change In Affection
If your usual goodbye or welcome home kiss is now absent, if he edges away from you in bed at night, if it seems like your warm, loving spouse has gone cold, it’s a sure-fire sign of a problem. It doesn’t necessarily mean there’s infidelity involved, but this kind of drop-off in affection, especially if it’s sudden, should raise questions about your connection to your spouse, and may be an indicator of an affair.
7. Laying It On Thick
Some of the most telltale signs of dishonesty are the overzealous and even overbearing attempts to cover up dishonest behavior. Sometimes it’s with an overabundance of false affection, sometimes it’s with elaborate stories and over-explanations, and sometimes it’s less specific – but it just feels like they are trying way too hard.
People behave this way for plenty of reasons, but if your husband is going out of his way to explain every single detail or his late night at the office or Saturday’s outing with the guys – and he doesn’t normally do that kind of thing – he’s likely covering for something else. This is the kind of behavior that causes people to get caught up in complicated lies and loopholes in their stories. If this sounds too familiar, you may need to ask you husband what’s really going on.
Infidelity is painful and very difficult to overcome, but if the issue goes unaddressed, it will only cause a deeper and deeper rift in your marriage. Know that an affair does NOT mean the end of your marriage, but instead is a massive red flag that things need to improve. You can build a stronger marriage after an affair, but if you don’t summon the courage to ask about your suspicions, the behavior will go unchecked and the problems will continue.
If you’re experiencing these telltale signs – say something!