It’s nearly Halloween, and among all the kid’s parties, costume shops, and kitschy decorations, there’s one aspect that can really give your relationship a boost – haunted houses!
You might be asking yourself what a haunted house has to do with marriage at all, and while it might not be immediately obvious, the answer is quite simple! Getting spooked brings you closer together!
From a simple “fear response” standpoint, feeling a little scared will actually make you huddle closer together. Even if there’s no real danger, your automatic response is to cling to one another for “safety.” This physical touch and closeness alone has its own merits – on a very basic level, a trusted touch makes our brains produce oxytocin (the “love hormone”) that can help us feel more connected to our partners.
Beyond that, there are some other subtle ways that haunted houses can give your marriage a push in the right direction, particularly when it comes to your sex life. First off, your brain’s “fight or flight response” – that panicky, on edge feeling you get when you’re not sure what’s about to happen, the feeling that haunted houses thrive upon – activate the same parts of the brain responsible for sexual arousal and sex drive.
There are also some sexual feelings tied to protecting or feeling protected – and the scares of a haunted house usually spur one of the members of a couple to take some kind of “protective” role (even if it’s just with their body language) in the face of perceived or imagined danger – even when we know it’s not real. It can trick us into adopting some semi-primal behavior, and well, that tends to excite our primal sensibilities (like sex drive).
It may seem stereotypical, but there is some truth to this: many women feel more attracted to their male partner after he shows signs of protection, and men feel more virile and powerful when doing the protecting. Every couple is different, of course, but those behaviors are biologically hardwired into our brains.
When it comes to bravery, simply having the guts to go through the haunted house – to face fears and make it through – tends to make people feel empowered and indestructible, and those are pretty sexy feelings to have. It bolsters confidence, makes posture more commanding and attractive, and the excitement primes both mind and body for more action!
Try it out! Take a trip through a local haunted house with your spouse (or maybe try a few), and see how it makes you feel. If you go in looking for a little excitement, stay close together, and take those bubbly, frisky feelings with you back home to the bedroom. Most of all, have fun with it!
For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com
I do love my husband and I do find him attractive, but I just have no interest to even kiss him and cuddle him, I show no affection whatsoever , I used to a lot and I can't really say it's because we now have kids because I had a child before I met him. What should I do?
I initiate about 10 times per month, and get rejected 9 of those times. A few times having sex only once every other month. I've expressed how important sex is to me with my wife and she said she just doesnt feel like it often and that shes sorry. I have never been able to get more out of her than that. I've stopped initiating on the premise of a quote i read "why woudl you want to have sex with someone who doesnt want to have sex with you". been almost 40 days now since sexual activity.
Hi Wife - I think you experience is common and here is some advice- https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/keeping-passion-alive-through-the-stages-of-marriage/
Hi Branden - there could be a lot of reasons she is turning you down. Low drive, overwhelmed, not feeling in touch with you. For women, there is often a lot leading up to actually making the decision to have sex. She needs to feel connected. https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/woman-sexually-aroused/
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