Marriage Counseling Sex :  What To Do When You’re No Longer Attracted To Your Spouse?

Here’s the next video in our blog series “Dr. Dana Answers Your Questions.” Today’s question is from Angela: “What if you are not attracted to your husband physically anymore?”


Marriage counseling sex: Please comment below the video to ask your own questions or just to let us know what you think.  We’re frequently shooting new videos and will answer the top questions as part of this ongoing series.

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12 comments

NeedHelp 9 years ago

I agree to have the conversation about how you feel about your spouse. But what if te spouse is not willing to have sex talk at all? How to start the conversation without offending him or making him uncomfortable?

Mike_Olsen_SMN 9 years ago

NeedHelp, That is a great question. This article lists some very important do's and dont's when talking to your spouse about sex. I think you will find this article very helpful! https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/choose-happy-talk-sex/

John 8 years ago

Problem is I told my wife throughout our marriage as she gained weight that she was gaining weight. i invited her to workout with me all the time. Well, found out she was sleeping with another man throughout our 4 years of dating and 10 years of marriage. That was one excuse she gave for doing it; that I was mean and expressed how I felt about her weight gain. So now I am even more confused after watching your video about being honest about attraction.

Mike_Olsen_SMN 8 years ago

There is definitely a right and wrong way to approach weight gain in a spouse. A better option might be to figure out why she is gaining weight. Was she unhappy? Stress, job change, children? Not everyone enjoys working out. Perhaps it would be better to find something she enjoys, and come up with a plan to be healthy together. https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/marriage-advice-understanding-differences-communication-styles/

shemika 8 years ago

Hi I have a problem my sex drive is very high and my husband is very low he makes me feel like he don't want sex from me I want sex a lot but my husband don't want to have it all the time we have sex one time a day out of a week and sometimes I ask for sex and I'm not happy with it all the time I been thinking about having sex with someone else.Because he in to old things and I'm not I don't know what to do can you help me

shemika 8 years ago

Hi I have a problem my sex drive is very high and my husband is very low he makes me feel like he don't want sex from me I want sex a lot but my husband don't want to have it all the time we have sex one time a day out of a week and sometimes I ask for sex and I'm not happy with it all the time I been thinking about having sex with someone else.Because he in to old things and I'm not I don't know what to do can you help me

Mike_Olsen_SMN 8 years ago

Hi Shemika, if your need for sex is so strong you are thinking of having an affair, you should probably seek counseling. Sex once a week may be less than you want, but it's not as though your sex life is barren. Try talking to your husband to see if there is something he is missing, or if there is a medical need overlooked. Otherwise, you may need to bond with your husband in other ways. https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/help-my-husband-wants-less-sex-than-i-do/

Mike_Olsen_SMN 8 years ago

Hi Shemika, if your need for sex is so strong you are thinking of having an affair, you should probably seek counseling. Sex once a week may be less than you want, but it's not as though your sex life is barren. Try talking to your husband to see if there is something he is missing, or if there is a medical need overlooked. Otherwise, you may need to bond with your husband in other ways. https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/help-my-husband-wants-less-sex-than-i-do/

GG 7 years ago

hi my husband has a very high sex drive but is not interested in sex with me any more- he watches porn and dreams about sex with young hot babes. I am not satisfied when we do have sex (which is becomming less frequent) because he seems to just want to get it over and done with, He is otherwise a very sweet kind man, but this is such a big thing for him he is thinking of leaving me

GG 7 years ago

hi my husband has a very high sex drive but is not interested in sex with me any more- he watches porn and dreams about sex with young hot babes. I am not satisfied when we do have sex (which is becomming less frequent) because he seems to just want to get it over and done with, He is otherwise a very sweet kind man, but this is such a big thing for him he is thinking of leaving me

Mike_Olsen_SMN 7 years ago

Hi GG, I know I sent you some advice on porn addiction, but it's possible he is getting bored in the bedroom. This happens naturally in a long term relationship. Here are some things that can help - https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/keeping-passion-alive-through-the-stages-of-marriage/

Mike_Olsen_SMN 7 years ago

Hi GG, I know I sent you some advice on porn addiction, but it's possible he is getting bored in the bedroom. This happens naturally in a long term relationship. Here are some things that can help - https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/keeping-passion-alive-through-the-stages-of-marriage/