Marriage Counseling: 11 Answers You Need To Know
1. What Is Marriage Counseling?
Marriage Counseling, also referred to as couples therapy, is the process of getting information from a qualified therapist in order to help couples identify and resolve the issues in their relationship.
A qualified therapist knows how to help couples break through barriers and re-establish a strong, loving connection.
Working with couples is very different than working with an individual. Not every therapist is qualified to do this type of work.
A marriage counselor is a therapist that specializes in dynamic relationship issues such as what to do when your spouse wants out, falling out of love, poor communication, an unsatisfying sex life, dealing with infidelity and many more complicated relationship problems.
2. Does Marriage Counseling Work?
Yes! It works if you work it, meaning you have to be willing to learn some things and change how you interact with your husband or wife.
It works if you go. The sooner you get help, the sooner you and your spouse can solve the problems between you. Don’t wait until it’s too late!
And, it works if your therapist knows what they’re doing. Be sure to choose a therapist with many years of experience specifically in counseling couples.
Often times when marriage counseling does not work it has a lot to do with the therapist or counselor. If you end up choosing the wrong counselor you’ve may have lost before you even started.
Keep in mind that Marriage counseling is a very specialized skill that uses different techniques than individual counseling. Be sure to choose a qualified therapist with a great reputation and take their advice to heart.
3. What Are Some Marriage Counseling Tips/Techniques?
One of the best tips Dr. Dana Fillmore of StrongMarriageNow.com gives is to spend quality time together as a couple. This may sound simple but the average married couple can spend as little as one hour a week alone together. The average couple with kids sometimes none.Time together as a man and a woman (not as Mom or Dad) is where the love and romance is.
You can’t be in love with someone you’re never alone with. Dr. Dana recommends at least 8 hours alone together every week.
So put down your phones, turn off the TV, put the kids to bed and try to connect.
We have a whole library of marriage counseling videos and articles with lots more tips and techniques on communication, falling back in love, improving your sex life, surviving an affair and more.
Choose a marriage tip and spend time applying it. You’ll be glad you did.
Check out Dr. Dana's video for some surprising and powerful marriage advice to help you regain love and connection and fix your marriage.
4. Is There Free Marriage Counseling?
The short answer is… No.
And to be plainly honest, if there were, it would not be very good.
Many marriage counselors, like Dr. Dana, are Doctors have spent a lot of time and money on private education to become the professionals they are.
Your marriage is the most important relationship in your life and deserves to be made a priority and invested in with your heart, your time and your money.
Online marriage counseling is a cost-effective alternative to face-to-face therapy.
5. Is Marriage Counseling Covered By Insurance?
Most insurance plans only cover “medical” illness and therefore do not pay benefits for couples therapy.
It is unfortunate, because couples in distress often experience adverse health effects from the stress related to their marital problems. Couples counseling could, or should, be viewed as preventative medicine that would save the health insurers money over the long term.
That being said, you should contact your insurance company directly, using their phone number for mental health benefits, and ask them if you are covered for couples therapy under your specific plan.
Remember, even if your insurance company doesn’t cover it, investing in saving your marriage is a lot cheaper than splitting up.
6. How Much Does Marriage Counseling Cost?
Rates for a single session vary from about $90 for a therapist right out of graduate school to $200 or more for a counselor with years of experience and a great track record. You do get what you pay for.
Since most marriage counselors see couples one session a week for the first three months, you can expect to pay from $1,200 to $2,600 in that period of time.
However, in 2015, there are more affordable alternatives such as online marriage counseling which has been pioneered by Dr. Dana herself.
7. What If My Husband Or Wife Won't Go To Marriage Counseling?
Yes… In many situations only one member of the couple is willing to seek help. Don’t worry if that is the case in your marriage. You can make a dramatic difference even if you’re the only one willing to seek help. It is possible to save your marriage on your own.
Everybody has heard the saying, it takes two to tango, right? Many take that to mean that both people have to take dance lessons to do it right. But what it really means is, if just one person learns some new steps, some new moves, and does something differently, the whole dance can change.
One person learning a new skill and changing their behavior, changing their steps, if you will, can dramatically change the dance between the two of you.
8. When Is The Best Time To Get Marriage Counseling?
In reality, the best time to get marriage counseling is before the little problems become BIG problems but unfortunately most of us let things fester hoping things will change for the better on their own.
The next best time to get marriage counseling for couples in distress is simply RIGHT NOW.
Waiting never works.
If you are reading this page right now and you think you need marriage counseling do not hesitate... Get help NOW.
9. Can You Fix A Marriage Without Counseling?
Can the average person fix their car without a mechanic?
Can they fix their computer without some IT support?
While it certainly is possible to fix your marriage without counseling, and you may have some of the basic tools, statistically it is unlikely you will be successful on your own.
In fact, what most people instinctively try can actually do more damage than good. Most people complain, blame and shame, which can actually push their husband or wife further away.
If you wanted to learn how to swim, you wouldn’t thrash around and nearly drown, you would take swimming lessons, so seek help from a qualified marriage counselor and fix your problems the right way.
10. What Alternatives Are There To Marriage Counseling?
There are few alternative to marriage counseling. Workbooks, books, retreats are a few.
Or many people just hope and pray that things will get better on their own, which, let’s face it, usually results in the problems getting worse.
Marriage problems are caused by unhealthy patterns between the two of you and it’s essential to learn a new way of being with each other that can rebuild the love in your relationship.
But marriage counseling does not have to be face-to-face. Dr. Dana offers powerful online marriage counseling video solutions and advice on this site.
11. What Is Online Marriage Counseling?
Online marriage counseling can be as good, if not better, than face-to-face counseling.
Couples counseling is all about teaching. - teaching couples how to truly communicate, how to resolve conflict, how to learn and understand their partner's point of view, etc.
In fact, it's when couple's therapists attempt to be mediators “face-to-face” – meaning they attempt to judge who is right and who is wrong while they’re in the room- that they get into trouble and can actually damage the relationship.
Statistically, 75% of couples who go to marriage counseling, and do it the wrong way, actually end up breaking up!
You don't want to become dependent on your therapist and be in therapy forever. Your counselor won't be standing in the kitchen mediating your fight over who should be responsible for doing the dishes!
You have to learn to do it yourself.
Dr. Dana Fillmore
Unfortunately, many couples who go to marriage counseling the wrong way end up breaking up. It is imperative that you choose a qualified counselor with a very strong reputation and an outstanding track record.
Using her 20 years of experience as a Clinical Psychologist and Marriage Expert, Dr. Dana has perfected the process of online marriage counseling via her Strong Marriage Now System, working with 6604 couples worldwide and counting. Feel safe and in love in your marriage again with Dr. Dana's advice in this video.
Regain the love and fix your marriage with Dr. Dana’s powerful advice in this online marriage counseling video.