Best Marriage Advice: The Importance (and Science) of Touch

It’s safe to say that we all want to be connected, especially to our spouses. While there are plenty of ways to help foster this kind of connection, but few are so basic and so ingrained in our biology as simple, familiar touch.

Research shows that all kinds of touch are important. Physical contact plays a large role in human development, as illustrated by both the positive effects of touch on babies with low birth weight, and the negative impact that a lack of touch has on the development of children in crowded orphanages or neglectful homes.

Holding hands helps keep the physical connection alive.

Apply this to adult life, and the same rules still exist! Think about the people you’re closest to, and the handshakes, hugs, or pats on the back you exchange. A study of professional athletes even found a correlation between successful teams and celebratory touching like high-fives, fist bumps, and hugs.

Now, if sports teams function better and babies grow up healthier as a result of positive physical contact, what does that tell you about your marriage?

If you’re feeling disconnected, maybe it’s because you aren’t touching one another any more (or not enough). Now, this can be a vicious cycle – you feel disconnected, so you don’t communicate with touch, making you feel more disconnected, and so on – but if you can recognize it, it isn’t too late to fix!

Familiar touch can help lend gravity to our words, or offer consolation and comfort that speaking simply cannot. Whether a full embrace or just a knowing touch on the arm, touch is an important component of communicating with the people we care about, especially our husbands and wives.

Make an effort to keep the physical connection alive between you and your spouse. Make a point to hold hands or sit close together. If you’re feeling mentally disconnected, you might be surprised how a little physical contact might start to change your mind.

If you’re feeling disconnected, or having a hard time keeping your partner checked into the relationship, check out the StrongMarriageNow system today for the best marriage advice!


Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders,

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