How to Fix Your Marriage

We all want something more out of our lives, from a better job to a better marriage, or maybe just a new car or to take a vacation. Whatever it may be, it’s safe to say that almost everyone wants something. Why not make it a reality this year?

To know what you truly want, you have to take a moment to assess what you have. Spend some time, preferably with your partner, to talk about the past year – what made you happy, your favorite memories, what you feel like you missed out on, and what you wanted to achieve that you didn’t get around to.

IMPORTANT: When you’re going over the past year, don’t dwell on perceived failures, this won’t do you any good. Don’t think in terms of failure, it will block you from success. Instead, think about your missed opportunities with a sense of optimism – it’s something to shoot for this year.

Talk to your partner about what’s important to both of you, and work on a plan to achieve those things. It may be useful to rank your goals in order of importance – maybe you’d really like a new boat, but sorting out the tension with your mother-in-law takes priority – when you know what you want to accomplish, it is easier to start working for it.

In your “year in review” conversation, make sure to talk about the good and the bad, and give them equal weight. If you and your spouse had a particularly great time at a friend’s dinner party, discuss the factors that made the evening special, and what you can do to recreate that feeling. If you had a particularly terrible argument, talk about it with a cool head, figuring out how to avoid hurtful language or how to approach disagreements constructively. Allow yourself to learn from the past year’s events, both positive and negative.

Resolutions don’t always have to be about change, either. Think about what you’re grateful for this year, and what you have to do to maintain that in the year to come. Talk about what is working well, and “resolve” to keep on track. If you’re still succeeding in last year’s resolutions, keep it up!

Starting the New Year can be a great opportunity to look at your life in perspective, to assess what’s truly important to you, and to take the first steps toward solving problems. Spend some time with your partner to determine where the two of you want to be, everyone wants something.

For more on how to work with your partner to achieve your mutual goals, check out the StrongMarriageNow System [link].

Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, StrongMarriageNow.com

Related Posts

couple kissing

How Do I Get My Husband To Understand My Feelings

Are you frustrated that your husband just doesn’t understand you? Are you feeling lonely and isolated? It may be that the way you and your husband communicate is contributing to the problem. It doesn’t have to stay that way. Dr. Dana Fillmore, Author, TV Relationship Expert and Clinical Psychologist offers Matt and Angie some new […]

Wedding

Is Fighting In Front of The Kids Ever OK?

Put as directly as possible – no. No it isn’t. …But this isn’t a simple question. What’s the fight about? How old are the kids? Do the young ones even understand what’s going on? Frankly, none of those questions matter. It’s not OK to fight in front of the kids about any topic, no matter […]

The Most Common Fight – And How to Stop It

For all of the issues that can come up in a marriage, one is far more common than all the others. It’s something each and every one of us has to deal with. We all stress about it… The problem is MONEY. No matter how much (or how little) we seem to make, the problems […]

10 Conversations You and Your Spouse Need to Have

Maintaining a successful marriage is hinged on communication. Being able to talk openly and honestly with one another builds a foundation of trust, and sets expectations well before conflicting views or ideas lead to fights. Today, we’re looking at 10 topics you and your spouse need to discuss, especially if you’re newly married. Even if […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.