Are you wondering if it’s even possible to get the love and laughter back in your marriage? Do you find that you’re angry at each other every day? Do you find yourself fighting in your marriage all the time? Do you ever wonder how to get back in touch with the fun and laughter in your relationship?
Laughing at ourselves and our situations lightens things up.
One of the easiest ways to access one’s patience is to keep in touch with one’s sense of humor. Much of the communication in a marriage can and should be fun and funny. We have got to be able to laugh at ourselves, and the situations we sometimes find ourselves in, or go quietly nuts. One of my favorite quotes reads, “Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.” The truth is monogamy can be hard and sometimes even annoying, (who doesn’t want to change places with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, respectively – without the kids, of course). If you don’t have a sense of humor in a relationship, it’s far more difficult to forgive and far more likely you’ll feel like killing each other, (if you watch the news, people frequently do.) But if you can laugh together, it makes everything sane; it makes everything better and problems easier to solve.
Having said this, let me be clear, when I’m talking about humor, I never mean humor at another person’s expense. Be careful and aware of your partner’s sensitivities. Some people hate to be teased; others are confused and hurt by sarcasm, while still others find these forms of communication hilarious and light-hearted. Know your partner and respect his/her preferences when it comes to using humor to communicate.
So, I challenge each of you to get back in touch with your sense of humor and look for the ridiculous, (trust me, it’s there). It diffuses tension, makes you more receptive and helps you feel connected.
For more relationship advice about using humor to help your relationship using our online videos and downloadable exercises, check out our StrongMarriageNow System.
Have you used humor to ease the tension? Did it help? Please comment below.
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com