Relationship Advice – How Humor Can Help Your Communication

Are you wondering if it’s even possible to get the love and laughter back in your marriage?  Do you find that you’re angry at each other every day? Do you find yourself fighting in your marriage all the time?  Do you ever wonder how to get back in touch with the fun and laughter in your relationship?

Laughing at ourselves and our situations lightens things up.

One of the easiest ways to access one’s patience is to keep in touch with one’s sense of humor.  Much of the communication in a marriage can and should be fun and funny.  We have got to be able to laugh at ourselves, and the situations we sometimes find ourselves in, or go quietly nuts.  One of my favorite quotes reads, “Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.”  The truth is monogamy can be hard and sometimes even annoying, (who doesn’t want to change places with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, respectively – without the kids, of course).  If you don’t have a sense of humor in a relationship, it’s far more difficult to forgive and far more likely you’ll feel like killing each other, (if you watch the news, people frequently do.)  But if you can laugh together, it makes everything sane; it makes everything better and problems easier to solve.

Having said this, let me be clear, when I’m talking about humor, I never mean humor at another person’s expense.  Be careful and aware of your partner’s sensitivities.  Some people hate to be teased; others are confused and hurt by sarcasm, while still others find these forms of communication hilarious and light-hearted.  Know your partner and respect his/her preferences when it comes to using humor to communicate.

So, I challenge each of you to get back in touch with your sense of humor and look for the ridiculous, (trust me, it’s there).  It diffuses tension, makes you more receptive and helps you feel connected.

For more relationship advice about using humor to help your relationship using our online videos and downloadable exercises, check out our StrongMarriageNow System.

Have you used humor to ease the tension?  Did it help?  Please comment below.



Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders,

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Brenda Harris 12 years ago

My husband and I are celebrating our 23rd anniversary tomorrow. When we celebrated that day so long ago, took our vows to love and cherish each other through all the hardships of life, we now know why it is called a "covenant". We have been through it all and so far have risen above the loss of his job, the sadness of infertility, the joy of adoption but frustration of teenager life, the challenges of my MS, and the sorrows of unfaithfulness. Through it all, I am here to say that maintaining a sense of humor, albeit difficult, is imperative for the survival of a marriage. A good dose of forgiveness, a lot of love, and definitely a strong faith in our Lord and Savior helps immensely also. Stay the course and He will make your paths straight.

Alan 12 years ago

I had an exta marrital affair and now my wife wont have sex with me we do everything together we go shopping etc. but she says what i have done is unforgiveable and that we will never be together as a couple only friends what can i do ?

mika 12 years ago

My husband is having an afair I know about her should I tell her his living dubble life I'm sticking around for kids.What to do

Mary Sheeler 12 years ago

The man that was supposed to be my life partner has cheated on me continuously for seven years with at least 60 women, and some men too which he found while being on online dating sites . I only keep him to make him the most absolutely miserable man on earth and it is working. He was posing nude advertising for anal and oral sex. I find great humor in this because he is a 53 year old man hooking up with college girls and he must look absolutely ridiculous . The man is no stud . He even sneaks his cialis out of the house and lies when I question the missing pills. He tries to pick up women from bars and wherever else he travels.Not a good man at all.So funny.He never has taken cialis with me , told me I wasn't worth it. Been taking them since 2009

karenl 11 years ago

i have tried everything sent him things from your site the song by pink he has left been gone almost 2 months i try to find out what he wants he doesn't know he use to tell me he loves me every time he talked to me but the last month he just says bye when he hangs up i ask him to tell me he doesn't love me he said he can't he has been talking to this other woman and he says there has been no sex but he has some feelings for her he cheated on me years ago and i forgave him and now what is going on i have tried everything i know and he has stopped giving me his pay check just enough to pay bill he keeps rest and it is alot i love this man with all my heart and soul he has my heaart i pray that god wll help me and it is like he lets him do whatever he wants my husband will not go to counslor he said he will figure out what he wants if he wants to come home or not he said he wasn't happy i told him sometimes i wasn't happy but i stayed because i love him we have been married almost 19 years this july together 20 what do i do just let him keep living his life like he is and me being lonley wanting him to come home why can't he say i love you to me it kills me sometimes i would just ask god to take me home and let my daddy put his arms around me and say nobody will hurt you again anymore what am i to do i am just lost if you dont want to comment on this i understand buti don't know what else to do

sharon 11 years ago

well saw my husband for the first time in 9 months and didn't look all that great but once again all we talked about is his demand list and not once did he even smile or show an emotion just goes to show he cares about stuff then us!33 years down the drain because he is so stubborn and mad that he finally is being held responsible for something he did wrong and a naraccists does not like being caught doing anything wrong even 20 years ago when he had an affair he really didn't think he did anything wrong!Now that he hasn't worked in years he wants 1/2my pension and rrsp 's and to only pa 95 dollars a month for our daughter all he said was he cant get a mortgage and he seemed upset about that because through out our marriage I could not have anything better then him yet at one time he had 3 good vehicles and I had a mechanic dream kind of wrong when I was the on that worked until I got sick he wanted me around but then he changed because he might have to take care of me yet I took care of him for years but now I realize he with held sex all for control! A life time of miss trust and lies will counselling even help!

missscarlet 10 years ago

Try going to or Dr Huizenger talks

missscarlet 10 years ago

Rediculous! Tell him you Are took buy for this and put him on notice that you are going to start doing whatever you want

missscarlet 10 years ago

Yes. Express to Ber whatever you want with smarts and pretend you are Zena Princess Warrior, something your H may find quite attractive!

missscarlet 10 years ago

Say, "Oh come on, it is tbe only positive connection we want a realt Ion or not this is said by me to u