In the previous post, we looked at a few ways couples can reconnect after a gradual drift apart. This kind of divide can happen for range of reasons, but most often, it’s because couples aren’t aware of it happening until it’s too late – because they aren’t actively participating in keeping their connection thriving.
Today, we’re covering three more important tips for keeping your bond strong, and repairing it when it has weakened with time.
1. Plan Down Time
We often talk about the importance of quality time together, and suggest getting outdoors, trying new things, and so on – but it’s also important to relax together. This is your time to snuggle up, not worry about the kids or the bills, and connect as a couple. It’s a great idea to work this into your morning or nighttime routine (or both)!
Instead of looking at your phones or doing separate activities, take this time to unwind together. The more consistently you do it, the easier you’ll find it to open up, relax, and truly enjoy one another’s company.
2. Take an Interest
While you and your spouse likely have some things in common, you probably don’t share all of the same interests or hobbies. To rekindle (and preserve) your connection to one another, learn about each other’s pastimes!
This doesn’t mean you need to go to every softball game or master photography, just ask questions, go along once in awhile, and take a real interest in the things your spouse enjoys. Offer to share your own interests as well.
Your spouse will feel appreciated, you’ll be spending quality time together, and you’ll likely learn a few things too!
3. Plan Business Time
The other side of today’s first tip, it’s also great for your marriage to plan out the time you spent discussing “family business.” The time you spend doing this is, in some ways, still helping to build your connection, but this is more about NOT letting “business” talk interfere with the other quality time you spend together.
As much as we’d like for marriages to be all love and romance, there are responsibilities that you’ll have to share, logistics to figure out, and business to handle. You’ve got to get the kids where they need to be, pay the bills, plan home repairs, work out your budget, get groceries, and on and on… This stuff isn’t sexy or exciting, but it has to be done. It also has plenty of potential to lead to stress you out – and even lead to arguments.
If you set aside time to talk about this stuff, it’s less likely to come up out of nowhere and disrupt otherwise pleasant conversations. It’s also a reason to “table” an issue until you’re sitting down to discuss finances or other logistics (unless it’s an emergency, of course).
When you schedule time for these types of talks, you’ll both come prepared to talk business – instead of bringing these things up when they are problems or pressing issues (and emotions are running high because of it).
Not only will you grow as a couple working together on the business side of things, you’ll also improve other aspects of your marriage by keeping this part of the relationship in a box of its own.
Seriously consider adding these idea and routines into your marriage. The more often you put these things into practice, the easier they become. Take steps today to start bringing your marriage back together, no matter how long you’ve felt disconnected. You can build a happy, healthy marriage with the person you’re already married to – you just have to be willing to try!
For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com