Infidelity is very real threat to the stability of many marriages – or perhaps more accurately, when marriages become unstable, they also become susceptible to the conditions and behaviors that lead to affairs.
For this reason, couples having trouble in their relationships may also become suspicious of one another’s behavior. Certain signs can help you determine if those suspicions are well founded. Today, we’ll look at some of the typical things men say when they are being unfaithful.
Now, these don’t necessarily mean your husband is cheating, but if he’s saying these things, you certainly have a reason to be concerned.
1. Just A Friend
If there’s a female in his life that you haven’t met, that he hasn’t so much as mentioned in passing until you found out about her (however that may have happened), and when you ask – he immediately responds with “she’s just a friend…”
She’s likely more than a friend.
2. That’s Private
If your husband is suddenly becoming more protective of his privacy – access to his phone, emails or messages he might be typing on the computer, taking phone calls in the other room – and only explaining himself by demanding privacy for privacy’s sake…
You have some reason to be suspicious about his behavior, and who he might be talking to that demands such privacy.
3. You’re Cheating On Me
When people feel guilty (or worry that they might get caught), they project their guilt onto other people, and go to extreme measures to shift any blame or suspicion away from themselves.
If your husband accuses you of cheating out of the blue – or if accusations are his response to your questions about his behavior – it only lends more credibility to your suspicions. It’s just classic defensive behavior.
4. It’s Your Fault
Another “classic” defense mechanism is to blame you for not being good enough, for driving him away, for not living up to his expectations, etc. While this is a potential problem in terms of both parties having their physical and emotional needs met, this kind of blame is different.
Instead of coming to you with concerns or being open about ways he’s not feeling fulfilled, this kind of finger pointing is rationalizing his behavior without addressing any of his own responsibility for the marriage.
5. I’ll Take Care Of It
Last but not least, a big red flag comes with a sudden upswing in “responsibility” around the house – particularly when it comes to doing his own laundry, rushing to clean out his car, or going to extra lengths to keep certain areas or items tidy…
If this is out of character or starts to happen suddenly, it’s likely because he’s trying to cover up any evidence of meeting with another woman.
If you think your husband is cheating on you, you’ll likely be very upset – and while it IS painful, and it WILL be difficult to get through, you absolutely can overcome the hurt and get your marriage back on track.
Understand that infidelity, even if committed by one person, is the result of discord in the marriage, and you are both responsible for it. Approach your husband with honesty and find out what’s missing from the marriage – this is the first step to getting back to a place of strength and happiness.
For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System today!
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com
Nearly 1 month ago I learned my wife had been having an affair with her coworker. I had suspicions so one morning before work I checked her phone and found some "I miss you, wish you were here" type texts. I confronted her and she admitted to the affair. She said it was over and she had already chosen to end it and move with me to our new home in a different town. I told her I forgive her and we will move on.
I am married to the most amazing man in the world. About two years ago, during our period of engagement, I stupidly had a six month affair with a work colleague. I begged and begged for forgiveness after I was caught. We married and I am thankful every morning when I wake up next to my husband. I know I am an awful person, and if I could turn back the clock, I would.
Hi Sad - I hope you are both able to find out the cause of her affair, and are able to repair it happily together. https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/save-marriage-regain-trust-its-destroyed/
Hi Faye - I'm happy to hear he is giving you another chance, and you both stay lucky to have each other.
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