Valentine’s Day is for Lovers, So Show Some Love!

Every year, couples bend over backwards to make restaurant reservations, purchase gifts and candies, and plan extravagant dates to show their love to one another on Valentine’s Day. The unfortunate reality, however, is that the financial strain and general stress that comes with grandiose celebration can have a negative impact on the actual enjoyment of this lover’s holiday.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with pulling out the stops to create a romantic evening for your spouse, nor is there anything wrong with buying gifts for the one you love. The problem arises when this stuff gets in the way of the true purpose of Valentine’s Day: celebrating your love for one another.

This Valentine’s Day, make sure that you aren’t losing sight of spending quality time together, and perhaps more importantly, make sure you aren’t investing too much into expectations for material things or being “wined and dined.”

Instead, make February 14th about the love you have for one another – do something you both love to do, go somewhere you can afford so you don’t spend dinner stressing about the bill, get a sitter for the kids and lock yourselves in the bedroom – whatever you decide to do, make it about you as a couple, and not forced into what you think Valentine’s Day is supposed to be (or what the magazines and greeting card companies want it to be).

The last thing you want is for the holiday to be sullied by an easily avoidable argument or unneeded stress.

The simplest way to celebrate Valentine’s Day is by showing love – do each other favors, compliment one another (sincerely), work together to pare down the potential stressors that could hold you back on this special day, hold hands, anything that is going to make the day more pleasant for both of you. While filet mignon, candy, and flowers are nice, they don’t necessarily express how you truly feel about your partner. Here’s a really easy way to write a love letter that they’ll cherish for the rest of their lives.

Step 1- List the top five things that you’re thankful for about your life together:

Valentine’s Day should be about the love you have for one another.

1. _______________________________________

2. _______________________________________

3. _______________________________________

4. _______________________________________

5. _______________________________________

Step 2- List your spouses’ five best qualities today:

1. _______________________________________

2. _______________________________________

3. _______________________________________

4. _______________________________________

5. _______________________________________

Step 3- Sit down and write it in this form:

Dear ____,

This Valentine’s Day I wanted to tell you how thankful I am for our life together and tell you all the things I love about you.

I am thankful for ___________, ______________________, _____________________, _________________,  and __________________.

I love you because you are _________________, _________________, __________________, ____________________, and __________________.

Happy Valentines Day!

I love you,


Whatever you do this Valentine’s Day, make sure it begins and ends with love for your spouse, and making that love apparent throughout the day. In fact, don’t just save your love for Valentine’s Day – you can do this every single day of the year!

If you’d like to learn other ways to make your marriage more loving, affectionate, passionate and fulfilling, check out our StrongMarriageNow System.

Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart,

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Gloria Vela 10 years ago

I tyring to have my husband check in, but he isn't there yet! please I need advise. pronto I'm praying and praying for this to happen!! God said Help your self and will help you"" I bought the whole system and nothing should i keep doing it alone! I'm not trying to be pushy but I'm going nuts trying to figure it out! please help me!!! gloria

Lossa my mind 10 years ago

I recently had a surgery done and my leg was swelling, so I asked my spouse for his phone to look up blood clots. I scrolled to his history to find the first site I looked at, and I discovered that he had been on several dating sites. In October of last year, I listened to some CD series called "LOVESICK". I started making changes in myself for the better. I had my surgery done on January 21,2013. I looked on his phone history, and saw the sites named above and went through the rest of his phone history. I discovered he was also texting another woman. He lied about everything. I have never been so hurt in our entire 13 year relationship. He continued to lie about it all, even going as far as when I was calm and able to prepare for this, he still lied until february 5,2013. I don't know what to do. I was begging him to send me the flirty text, hold my hand, etc. The simple things. I don't know if I can put this behind me. I am struggling with this. I am also a recovering functioning addict. He has had 5 years of clean and sober. Before that I was doing alot of narcotics, I regret it, all of it.I can't take it back, he throws it up in my face at least twice a week. I am not allowed to have 2 weeks or even 2 days. I went through everything in our home, his truck, his emails and now have spokeo and phone Sherrif tracking on his phone. Am I wrong for doing this? Am I wrong for blowing up after being calm about it? He has called te police on me for blowing up and yelling at him. What do I do? I love him with all my heart. How can we fix all the broken hearted damage? I honor my wedding vows. I DON'T WANT A DIVORCE, despite all the bad in our marriage, I want it to be better. He is being so mean and hateful about it all. Please help. Sincerely. all down and out and lonely and distrought.

Lossa my mind 10 years ago

And not to mention he told me he wanted a divorce for VALENTINES DAY!!!! I was crushed and devastated... Valentines wasn't very good. HELP!!!! PLEASE