In a recent survey, more than 60% of you told us that you wanted to know how to keep the romance alive and ways to fall back in love. Here are five tips to help you feel a loving connection to your spouse. They are guaranteed to keep your relationship strong — and on the right track.
1. Share a Chuckle
In the language of love, laughter is key. One of the easiest ways to access one’s patience is to keep in touch with one’s sense of humor. Much of the communication in a marriage can and should be fun and funny. We have got to be able to laugh at ourselves, and the situations we sometimes find ourselves in, or go quietly nuts. One of my favorite quotes reads, “Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.” Reminiscing about inside jokes can give you a bigger boost of satisfaction than recalling a laugh you had on your own. More importantly, the shared laughter doesn’t have to stem from positive circumstances. If you can laugh together during the difficult times, it makes everything sane, it makes everything better and problems easier to solve. So go ahead, laugh together about that time you face-planted on the sidewalk or made a major faux pas at a family function. I challenge each of you to get back in touch with your sense of humor and look for the ridiculous, (trust me, it’s there). It diffuses tension, makes you more receptive and helps you feel connected.
2. Compliment Each Other
In the long run, it is the small gestures that will mean the most to each other. A recent study that followed 373 married couples for a quarter of a century, found that those who gave positive affirmations regularly were the happiest. Giving compliments, offering encouragement, and using subtle gestures like handholding shows your partner that you notice them and that you don’t take them for granted. Gentlemen, try these: Tell your girl she looks great in her new jeans, give her a hand with the dishes, send her a middle-of-the-day sexy email, or fill up her gas tank. Ladies, try these: Tell your man he looks hot, let him know you appreciate his help, send him a sexy midday text, or just let him know how special you think he is.
3. Deepen Your Conversation
When was the last time you talked about anything other than the kids, work, or household chores? Knowing more about your partner in four key areas—friends, stressors, life dreams, and values—can increase overall happiness, according to a National Institute of Health study. In fact, 98 percent of the happy couples in the study said they intimately knew and understood their partners. Couples: Ask each other about a happy memory from childhood, to name the three worst songs of all time, or what their favorite movie is and why. More importantly, keep checking in with each other on the four things noted above – know about each other’s friends, stressors, life dreams and values and keep in mind that over time, these things change and evolve so it is important to keep up!
4. Try a Foursome
No, not that kind. We’re talking about a double date. Friendships with other couples can help solidify your relationship. The reason: Seeing your partner being social at his or her best can make them more attractive and reveal new aspects of their personality. Interacting with another couple can also give you a model of what to strive for (the way they compliment each other’s sentences) or what to avoid (the way they bicker).
5. Shake Things Up
Playing hooky won’t always land you in hot water, so skip the same old, same old and fight your way out of a relationship rut by adding variety to a vanilla routine. Skip work and do something fun together, like visiting a museum or tourist spot nearby. Take a water-skiing class, and swing your pelvis at a dance workshop. Or head outdoors for a taste of the exotic. But get out there and have fun together!
Do you know of more surefire ways that help a couple stay together? Let us know! Please comment below.
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders,