You likely understand by now that maintaining a healthy marriage requires attention and effort. With a little bit of practice and consistency, some of the most important efforts can actually turn into ongoing habits. You’ll start to do these things automatically (or close to it) – and as a result, your marriage will grow stronger day after day!
These isn’t every single habit or action you can take to improve your relationship, but by incorporating these things into each day, you’ll develop routines and an outlook on the marriage that will bring you closer and closer. Even if you’re currently facing problems – and these things seem difficult to practice – keep trying!
As you build these things into your day-to-day, they’ll become second nature – and will improve your marriage a little bit every day!
Work on these habits:
1. Open Up
A key component of intimacy is being able to openly share your thoughts and feelings with your spouse. When you bottle things up, they ultimately come out down the line, and are usually much worse than if you’d spoken up when you were feeling hurt or frustrated.
Make a point to share with one another. It might take some getting used to, or make you feel embarrassed at first, but in the long run, it will deepen the connection you share.
2. Greet Each Other Warmly
This one’s easy! No matter how you might be feeling, what issues you might be going through, or how rough your day was, remember to greet each other warmly and affectionately each time you see each other.
It might seem minor, but when this becomes a habit, you start each and every interaction off on the right foot.
3. Make Sex Important
Physical expressions of affection, sexual contact, and the like are all nonverbal, almost unconscious ways that we connect with our spouses. Making sex a priority doesn’t even necessarily mean you have to do it all the time, or that you need to force it…
Everyone is going to have a different idea of what a satisfying amount (or quality) of sex looks like, and there could by any number of problems keeping you from truly enjoying one another in the bedroom… All of that is ok! The point is to understand how much sex brings couples together, and make the effort for physical intimacy that works for your marriage.
4. Make Kindness The Default
Like the greetings mentioned above, do your best to start from a point of kindness. Even if you’re upset about something, keep your emotions in check and at least begin the conversation in a caring way.
The same goes for when you’ve had a bad day, you aren’t feeling well, etc. – don’t just take it out on your spouse!
This doesn’t mean you have to mask your emotions or pretend to be nice all the time, but rather that you owe it to one another to be fair and civil, and that when you make the extra effort to be kind, life is a little easier!
5. Check In
It never hurts to check in with one another, and making it a daily habit will both help keep you connected AND keep feelings of insecurity, jealousy, or suspicion in check.
This is also a way to keep romance alive, simply by sending each other messages, emails, or quick phone calls that say “thinking of you” throughout the week. It will help you look forward to the time you spend together, and let your spouse know that they’re on your mind – even when you’re apart.
When you spouse does something for you – from the smallest favor to the largest – let them know how much it means! Simply taking the time to say thank you, and being specific about the way they make you feel, helps you both see the value you each bring to the marriage.
Your relationship is a team, but that doesn’t mean you should take your spouse for granted. Express your appreciation each and every time the opportunity presents itself.
7. Get Rid of Grudges
Problems are unavoidable sometimes, but if you can deal with them as they arise – then let them go – you can build a happier marriage with fewer ongoing issues. If you talk through a problem and find a way to solve it, let it fade into the past!
Holding grudges is unfair to each other, prevents the relationship from moving forward, and usually just creates more and more problems the longer you hold onto the anger. Work toward solving problems, then put them to bed.
Try to incorporate these habits into your marriage as much as you can. It’s ok if it takes time, but understand that the more often you put forth the effort, the easier these things will be to maintain. Make strengthening your marriage part of the daily routine!
For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the <a href="https://www.strongmarriagenow.com/coursedetails/strongmarriagenowsystem/">StrongMarriageNow System</a> today!
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Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, co-Founders, <a href="http://www.StrongMarriageNow.com">StrongMarriageNow.com </a>