Are you trying to stop your divorce or separation and save your marriage? Does your spouse want out and you're not sure what to do? Are you afraid your marriage is over?
Dr. Dana answers today's question from Randy: “My wife has been completely ambivalent for almost a year, we went to ONE counseling session and she refuses to go back, she says she can go on 'like this' (as roommates) indefinitely - she has one foot out the door and has for over a year. HOW DO I GET HER TO RECOMMIT TO THE MARRIAGE?”
Check Out Our Video: How To Regain the Love, Rekindle Passion and Save Your Marriage
As you can see from the videos above, it is possible to save your marriage even if your spouse isn't willing to try but you must handle this challenging situation carefully. And, most people trying to save their marriage go about it in all of the wrong ways... Some of the most common mistakes are begging and pleading or blaming and shaming. Those behaviors tend to push your spouse further away from you.
If you want to REGAIN THEIR LOVE AND TRUST and save your marriage, you must discover the techniques that Dr. Dana has used to save 3 times more marriages than the average marriage counselor. Check out these free videos and articles from Dr. Dana to start your marriage back on the right track.
If your spouse won't even try to save your marriage, you may also want to explore the articles and videos on this page: How To Save Your Marriage When Your Spouse Is Checked Out. You may want to also check out the Forgiveness, Communication in Marriage and How To Recover from An Affair categories.
More Videos To Help You Stop The Divorce or Separation
Even if one partner wants a divorce or separation, it is still possible to recover what has been lost. You can save your marriage even if you are the only one willing to work on it. It may be easier than you think.
Do you feel that your marriage is on a destructive track, heading towards divorce? There is hope, and you can get your marriage back on track.
It is common to lose intimacy in a long term marriage. After many years, you may discover that your partner has completely checked out. Discover how to reconnect and regain the passion in your marriage.
Even if your spouse has let you down consistently for a long period of time, it is still possible to work on your marriage.
Afraid It's Over? Spouse Wants Out?
Don't do anything until you watch these marriage saving videos from Dr. Dana.
FEATURED POSTS TO STOP YOUR DIVORCE OR SEPARATION
Almost all marriages can be saved and even made much better. But let's face it, not everyone wants to save their marriage, meaning not everyone wants to keep it the way that it is.
You man notice that many couples who undergo couple's therapy end up divorcing anyway. There are many reasons this happens, and Dr. Dana offers us the three biggest mistakes couples make.
Why do so many people's attempt to save their marriages fail? Here's what you need to know to save your marriage and succeed where others fail.
In most cases, it's better to work on the marriage, make it better and stay married. And it's not just for the kids!
The truth is many people continue to believe that the “grass is always greener” - The fact is the grass is greener in the field you water
Marriage is a choice, but it's not simple and it's certainly not always easy.
Have you heard yourself saying “he'll never change” or “she'll never change?” This myth can prevent you from having a happy successful marriage.
This is completely false!! In fact, the opposite is true. People change all the time. It's actually the one thing we can count on in life.
Addiction of any kind can lead to some seriously destructive behavior. Having a loving, supportive, and brave spouse may very well be the key to beating the addiction, or at least starting down the path.
BROWSE RELATED MARRIAGE TOPICS
"5 Secrets to Save Your Marriage"Feeling stuck? Want to save your marriage but aren't sure how? Register for our FREE "5 Secrets to Save Your Marriage" Webinar and you'll discover:
- The answer to "Can my marriage be saved?" Dr. Dana Fillmore will tell you how almost any marriage can be saved even if you’re the only one working on it
- 4 Relationship Myths that are probably getting in your way – Believing in these myths can actually prevent you from saving your marriage
- How to avoid common mistakes you may be making in your marriage. Did you know that most people’s attempts to save their marriage fail?
- The most important thing you need to do to save your marriage – And you’ll be surprised it’s practical and easy to apply for almost everyone
- Clear, straightforward steps that you can take immediately to get your marriage on track
Want to Stop Your Divorce?
- Trying to Stop a Separation in Your Marriage?
- Trying to Stop Divorce Proceedings?
- Need Advice on How to End your Divorce?
- Have Marriage Counseling Questions?
- How about Pre-Marital Counseling?
- Looking for Relationship Counseling?
Before you do anything else, if you're trying to stop a legal separation or stop your divorce, check out our free advice on ways to Stop Your Divorce and Start Saving Your Marriage!
You Can Stop Your Divorce And Be Happy Again
Research indicates that 86% of unhappily married couples that stay together and work on their marriage report being much happier later on in life. In other words, they're glad they did. And, on the flip side, we all know that when couples give up on their marriage and divorce, their financial resources are cut in half, which is seriously lousy! Not many people can afford two households. Research also shows that children of divorced parents often have lower self-esteem and many have significant difficulties later in their own relationships. And did you know that a divorced person's life span can actually be shorter? These are all things to think about when considering whether to give up on or save your marriage.
Don't Believe the Myth: “Everyone in the family will be happier if we just get a divorce.”
As mentioned above, research shows children of divorced parents often have lower self-esteem and many have significant difficulties later in their own relationships. Further, many kids whose family's are going through divorce experience a drop in their grades, have an increase in behavioral problems, and have a higher incidence of drug and alcohol abuse.
So, the excuse that a couple is divorcing for the children is just that, an excuse, unless there is extreme long-term fighting in the home, and of course, if there's violence, in which case the family needs counseling immediately. Then, I would say that the family may indeed be better off apart. But in most cases, it's far better to work on the marriage, make it stronger and save your marriage. And that's not just for the kids!
I'm also often astonished by how many people think that their own lives will get miraculously better if they get divorced. They fail to fully comprehend the impact of this kind of decision: significantly decreased financial resources, (see below), giving up half the power and control over how their own kids are being raised, (not to mention giving up half of the time with them), and potentially dealing with new spouses and maybe even step-children. Further, many people actually fail to appreciate the possibility that they could spend the rest of their lives alone. Even if they do find someone new, whatever issues they brought to their first marriage are just as likely going to come up again in any subsequent relationships, so in the end what have they gained?
What are the Financial Impacts of Divorce?
We talked earlier about how emotionally painful and difficult divorce can be for you and your kids. But let's talk for a moment about the actual financial costs of divorce. According to divorcemag.com, the legal fees alone for an uncontested divorce can cost between $400 and $1000, and that's just for the paperwork! A contested divorce can range between $8,000 and $135,000 or much more. And if the divorce settlement is challenged after the divorce is final, if you don't prevent divorce you can keep paying for years and years and years.
And those are just the legal fees. You'll also lose half of your net worth. You'll split whatever you have in your savings and retirement accounts; you'll split the equity in your home; you'll split the value of all of your assets. What does this mean in real numbers? Well, the average family between 35 and 55 has a net worth of $74,963.00 according to CNN Money. That means you could potentially lose up to $37,482.
Then on top of the massive loss in net worth and legal fees, you'll have to potentially maintain two separate homes. The average cost for maintaining a home including rent or mortgage, utilities, food, repairs, etc., ranges between $30,000 and $100,000 per year. If you have kids, one of you will likely end up paying child support for an average of $6000 per year and additional child-care expenses can cost around $5000 per year. (You'll notice we haven't even addressed alimony here and it is no longer the case that a husband always pays the wife - now whoever earned more in the marriage may have to pay whoever made less....)
So, on the low-end, a divorced person's average yearly expenses go up by $41,000 per year.
Between the impact to your net worth and the increased expenses, it could conceivably take years to get back on your feet again. Save your marriage today.
Stop Your Divorce With Dr. Dana's Alternative to Marriage Counseling
The StrongMarriageNow System is a great alternative to face-to-face marriage counseling to stop your divorce. In fact, we're really seeing that in most cases, getting Dr. Dana's advice by watching the online videos in the privacy of your own home and completing the exercises is actually better than most face-to-face therapy to help you save your marriage.
Three out of four couples who learn and apply Dr. Dana's Marriage Success Skills say they WANT to stay together
Check out some of the free couples counseling videos that will help you improve your relationship. You will get extremely valuable (and occasionally funny) marriage advice. Many of our members have felt that being able to access our couples counseling materials online has been extremely useful. This offers them a marriage advice in the privacy of their own home! If you're interested, Get Dr. Dana's Advice to Stop Your Divorce We also offer a free webinar on how to save your marriage called, “5 Secrets to Save Your Marriage.” Again, sign up for our email listing and take advantage by joining the call!
Can the Dr. Dana's System Actually Stop Divorce If It's Not Face-to-Face Marriage Counseling?
We are often asked if our System can really work if it's not face-to-face? And the answer is, absolutely! In fact, as we've mentioned above, sometimes it works better! We're really seeing that in most cases, watching the online videos our System provides in the privacy of your own home along with using our workbook and completing the exercises, is actually better than most face-to-face therapy. Again, this is because unlike traditional therapy, we are not mediating a truce between the two of you – instead we are offering information – teaching you the skills you need learn to make your relationship, your marriage, a happy, successful one.
Get Dr. Dana's Advice Today to Stop Your Divorce!
So if you want to save your marriage, before you go any further, first, TAKE ACTION, and get Dr. Dana's Advice to Stop Your Divorce!
Common Questions & Answers to help save your marriage now
“What about infidelity? Is a relationship over after an affair?”
We answer this question at length in our webinar, 5 Secrets to Save Your Marriage, but let me just say that the answer is: Absolutely Not! A relationship can be saved after an affair, if you both commit to forgive, get the relationship skills you need, and commit to work together on the relationship. In fact, the relationship can not only be saved, it can be made even stronger and happier than ever before!
“What about emotional affairs?”
We frequently receive questions about what constitutes infidelity. We receive descriptions of lots of inappropriate friendships, “She's really close to the neighbor guy, but they're just friends,” “He's really close to a co-worker, but they're just friends,” etc. While we cover this in greater depth in our Affair-Proof Your Marriage series, I want to say this: when you are married, you should never be close friends with someone of the opposite sex who is not just as close to your spouse. The reason for this is because if you are close friends with someone of the opposite sex who is not also equally close to your spouse, you are getting your emotional needs met outside of your marriage. Further, you are most likely not fulfilling your spouse's emotional needs either and that combination puts your marriage in extreme jeopardy.
“What about Christian Couples Counseling?"
StrongMarriageNow.com is compatible with most faiths, religions and walks of life. The StrongMarriageNow System teaches principles that honor marriage: love, commitment, honesty, trust and connection. Dr. Dana teaches that we all have choices in how we think, act, and behave and she gives you the tools to make more effective choices. She also teaches that we can choose our attitude towards our life and our relationships. Dr. Dana is empowering and thought-provoking. We are not affiliated with any political organization.
Get Dr. Dana's Stop Divorce How-To's
Some of you may have been in pain in your marriage for quite some time. The only way to make it stop is to TAKE ACTION and sign up to get Dr. Dana's advice to stop your divoce and save your marriage! Begin to apply Dr. Dana's advice to your marriage right away!
Three out of four couples who learn and apply Dr. Dana's Marriage Success Skills say they WANT to stay together
You'll hear real-life stories from people just like you who took action, applied Dr. Dana's advice, stopped their divorce and saved their marriage. You can follow in their footsteps, end the pain and have the marriage of your dreams! Get Dr. Dana's How To Videos Today!