Marriage Counseling Alternative

 

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Why Is It So Hard To Get My Partner To Consider Marriage Counseling?

First let me say that I've heard from so many people that have a difficult time getting their partners to commit to going to marriage or couples counseling.  They worry that if he/she won't go, that they are not committed to the relationship and they don’t care about their future.

Fortunately, in most cases, this is far from the truth.  The fact is that many people are uncomfortable with going to marriage (or pre-marriage) counseling.  This is due to many reasons.

marriage counseling Some people are more comfortable leaving things as they are rather than talking about and dealing with painful issues.
Many people are uncomfortable discussing their issues with someone they don't know.
Many marriage counselors are women and their approach to couples therapy is to make the men “more like a woman.”  They want him to think like a woman and communicate like a woman and that just doesn't work.
Going to a marriage counselor can make some people feel like a failure and can feel threatening.
Some people are concerned about the time and the costs of seeking professional help.

 

Marriage Counseling Alternatives

 

Have Questions? Dr Dana Fillmore

Looking for Marriage Advice?

How about Pre-Marriage Counseling?

Before you go any further, check out Dr. Dana’s free Videos to Fix Your Marriage! You’ll get proven advice to get your marriage back on track.

 

Here are some alternatives to consider if marriage counseling simply isn't an option for you.

Try seeing a counselor individually to help you learn how you can improve your life and influence your marriage/relationship.

There are some great books that you can explore:  "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About it" by Patricia Love and  "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.

It may be that your approach to working on the marriage is creating more of a rift between you.  Many couples are hurt and angry with each other and end up blaming and shaming each other.  You may want to try using a kinder, more loving approach to help turn the tone of your interactions around.

Check out some of Dr. Dana's free marriage counseling videos to help you improve your marriage.  People are typically more open to watching something privately on their computer. Many of our customers have felt that being able to access our marriage counseling materials online has been extremely useful. If you're interested in a free sample of Dr. Dana’s advice, sign up to get 3 FREE Marriage Counseling Videos!

Finding the Right Marriage Counselor

Alternatively when you do decide together to seek marriage/couples counseling, there are two key questions that will help you determine who is the best therapist for you and your spouse.

1.  Are they a couples therapy expert?

Not only must they have experience doing couples therapy, (because almost every therapist will tell you that they do), but do they consider couples counseling one of the things that they specialize in, and do they have at least 10 years of experience doing it.  The next thing you need to consider is, are they compatible with both you and your spouse. For the most part you can determine this over the phone.

Keep in mind, a lot of therapists believe that the way to save a marriage is to try to make the man become more like a woman.  But in fact, most men are more comfortable with a therapist that has a direct, respectful, and balanced approach. So if you walk into their office and the couches are pink and flowery, there’s new age music playing and lots of low lighting, chances are your husband will quickly zone out and very little will get accomplished.

2.  How Much Will It Cost?

Couples counseling is an investment in your marriage and it takes time and money. But I tell people that couples therapy is like tuning-up your car, you won't fix it if you only change the spark plugs - there are a lot of other important parts that need time and attention.  Keep in mind, most insurance companies don’t cover couples counseling.  And a single couples therapy session can cost anywhere between $80 to $200 per hour.  So make sure you consider this when you’re choosing your couples therapist.

Does it Work?

Let me tell you why so many couples fail  - the sad truth is that not all therapists are created equal – Now, I recognize that might sound strange coming from me, but let me explain what I mean:  As I’ve already mentioned, couples should not go to a therapist that isn’t qualified to do couples therapy.

Many people, (and therapists for that matter), don't realize that couples counseling is very different from individual counseling.  So much of it is teaching - teaching couples how to truly communicate, how to resolve conflict, how to learn and understand their partner's point of view, etc.  In fact, it's when couples’ therapists attempt to be mediators in the room - attempt to judge who is right and who is wrong - that they get into trouble and can actually damage the relationship even further, (the truth is 3 out of 4 couples who go to couples counseling actually end up breaking up!)

Additionally, you don't want the couple to become dependent on the therapist.  A good therapist doesn't want their clients to be in therapy forever!  And after they’ve stopped coming to see the therapist, the therapist is not going to be standing in the kitchen mediating their fight over who should be responsible for feeding the dog!  They have to learn to do it themselves and here’s where, in my opinion, the StrongMarriageNow System is the perfect medium to teach them.

The StrongMarriageNow System is a great alternative to face-to-face marriage counseling and in fact, we’re really seeing that in most cases, watching the online videos in the privacy of your own home and completing the exercises is actually better than most face-to-face therapy.  Want to get a free sample of the System and Dr. Dana’s Marriage Success Secrets? Get 3 FREE Marriage Counseling Videos

 

How To Be Happily Married Again

Being happily married has a lot more to do with knowing how to be happily married than it does with who you’re married to. If you find you’re in a situation where you’re feeling disconnected and unhappy, take heart, things can get better. There are six major skills that couples need to learn in order to have a strong and healthy marriage. These are:

Spending Time Together
Understanding Each Other
Resolving Conflict
Agreeing on Money Issues
Fairly Dividing Responsibilities
Having a Satisfying and Healthy Sex Life

Couples that are strong in these areas have the best possible chance at having a long-term happy marriage. If you feel like your marriage could use some work in one or more of these areas, take action and sign up for our email list today!

We are often asked if our System can really work if it’s not face-to-face?  And the answer is, absolutely!  In fact, as we’ve mentioned above, sometimes it works better! We’re really seeing that in most cases, watching the online videos our System provides in the privacy of your own home along with using our workbook and completing the exercises, is actually better than most face-to-face therapy.  Again, this is because unlike traditional therapy, we are not mediating a truce between the two of you – instead we are offering information – teaching you the skills you need learn to make your relationship, your marriage, a happy, successful one.

 

Stop The Pain Today

Get Dr. Dana's

"Save My Marriage" Videos

So if you are feeling as if your marriage needs help, if you are seriously considering professional help, before you go any further, first, TAKE ACTION, and sign up to get 3 FREE Marriage Success Secrets from Dr. Dana today!

Common Questions & Answers

 

“How do we connect again as a couple?”

In the StrongMarriageNow System we talk in depth about what we call The Most Important Lesson.  We point out that most married couples do not spend nearly enough time alone together.  Most married couples spend as little as one hour a week alone together; the average couple with kids, sometimes none.  The average couple having an affair can spend up to 15 hours alone per week.  Isn’t that unreal?   I recommend that couples spend at least 8 hours alone together every week.

“What about infidelity?  Is a marriage over after an affair?”

We answer this question at length in our teleseminar, but let me just say that the answer is: Absolutely Not!  A marriage can be saved after an affair, if you both commit to forgive, get the relationship skills you need, and commit to work together on the marriage. In fact, the marriage can not only be saved, it can be made even stronger and happier than ever before!

“What about Christian Marriage Counseling or other Denominational help? 

StrongMarriageNow.com is compatible with most faiths, religions and walks of life.  The StrongMarriageNow System teaches principles that honor marriage:  love, commitment, honesty, trust and connection. Dr. Dana teaches that we all have choices in how we think, act, and behave and she gives you the tools to make more effective choices.  She also teaches that we can choose our attitude towards our life and our relationships.  Dr. Dana is empowering and thought-provoking.  We are not affiliated with any political organization.

 

Don't Lose Another Night's Sleep

Some of you may have been in pain in your marriage for quite some time.  The only way to make it stop is to TAKE ACTION and get your FREE Marriage Counseling Videos! Begin to apply Dr. Dana’s advice to your marriage right away!

Three out of four couples who learn and apply Dr. Dana's
Marriage Success Skills say they WANT to stay together

You'll hear real-life stories from people just like you who took action, applied Dr. Dana’s advice and turned their relationships around.  You can follow in their footsteps, end the pain and have the marriage of your dreams! Get Dr. Dana's Marriage Counseling Videos Today!

Find the best Marriage Counseling Help, Visit http://www.strongmarriagenow.com

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