Many of us made New Year's Resolutions as part of our holiday celebration and are now doing our best to make them a reality. Unfortunately, only about 12% of people actually follow through with the resolutions. You can be a part of that successful 12% if you commit yourself and take action. Here are some great tips for sticking with your resolutions for this New Year.
1. Face Forward:
Concentrating on the past won’t get you anywhere. If you are going to make positive changes in your life, look to the future. If you focus on disappointments or failures that have already happened, you’ll be bogged down, too busy saying “what if?” to step forward into the new you.
Just because you didn’t save the money for your dream vacation last year, or never got around to remodeling the bathroom, that’s no reason to think of these goals as failed. If they are still important to you, treat them as brand new. Look to the upcoming year with confidence, and meet your goals head on.
2. Paint a Picture:
If your resolutions include self-improvement or strengthening your relationship, we recommend that you create visible, tangible goals for you and your partner. Take a moment to ask yourself, “What do I want my life to be like at this time next year?”
Talk to your spouse about your goals for yourself, and for the relationship you share with them. If the two of you are on the same page, you’ll be much more likely to achieve the goals you set. Where you want to “end up” will determine the path to get there.
Whether your goals for the relationship are monetary (savings, vacations, big purchases, etc.) or personal (more time together, children, personal development, etc.), having your partner on the same page can make all the difference. If you don’t take the time to talk about your individual goals, you may not be working toward the same outcomes! For a strong relationship, you and your partner need to have the same expectations for the direction your shared life is heading.
3. Draw a Map:
Make a plan to follow through with your resolutions. Identify where you want to be or what you want to change, and then identify the steps you need to take to get there. Forming this plan with your partner will help ensure that the two of you are working together to achieve your mutual goals.
Your plan should be truly step-by-step, outlining the actual tasks you need to complete to realize your goal for the New Year. Start with three practical steps, things you know you can do, and then implement them. By creating and following a plan, you will be able to move toward your goals with accountability and direction, as well as punctuate the process with tangible successes.
For example, Ted and Denise resolved to spend more quality time together. The formed a plan of three easy actions to put their goal in motion.
1: Compare schedules every Sunday, and free up at least eight hours a week to spend alone together.
2: Take a weekly hike as a couple (they both wanted to get outside more too!)
3: Turn off the TV a few nights a week to spend more time communicating.
With these three items on their plan to spend more time together, they will be moving toward the overall goal, and achieving small victories along the way. Sharing resolutions with your partner is a great way to stick to them, too!
If you truly desire to forge a stronger relationship this year, make a plan and stay with it! A stronger marriage in 2012 will make for a better year in every aspect of your life.
If you would like to learn more about practical steps to improve the quality of your marriage, check out the StrongMarriageNow System.
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, StrongMarriageNow.com
After 17 years of marriage, kids, and inevitable changes in their lives, Gabriela and Rafael were at a dead-end, or so they thought. Rafael didn’t want anything to do with marriage counseling, and while the couple wasn’t considering a divorce, they really felt like they were in a rut.
Then Gabriela found StrongMarriageNow.com, and everything changed! For Rafael, watching a video with his wife, in the privacy of their home, was a much better solution than seeking a physical marriage counselor. Admitting problems to strangers (even therapists) can be a big challenge for men, but he was willing to watch Dr. Dana’s videos right away.
With the advice from the videos, the couple was able to rekindle the spark that brought them together. Gabriela says, “It’s like we’re boyfriend and girlfriend again!”
Are you having trouble in your marriage? Is that spark missing from your relationship? As you can tell from success stories like this, the right advice and the right communication can get your relationship back on track, no matter how bad the current state might be.
For more information on how to get your marriage on making your relationship its best without office visits, check out our webinar, 5 Secrets to Save Your Marriage today!
That's right, on Friday January 6th Dr Dana will be making a special appearance on the HealthyLife.net radio broadcast. Some of the topics she will be covering include current statistics on divorce, problems seen in today's marriages and the probable causes, the secrets of happily married couples, and the #1 thing that you should do to protect your marriage, just to name a few. Don't miss this great opportunity to get free advice from Dr Dana herself!
The show will be broadcast on SHARKIE'S PEP TALK with Sharkie Zartman, January 6th at 10:00a.m. PST as well as Saturday, January 7th at 3:00p.m. PST. If you can't listen in on either of those dates, the broadcast will be saved to the archives, so you can listen whenever is convenient for you.
Wishing you a happy holiday season,
Dr. Dana and Amy, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com
Get The Best Marriage Advice Now & Visit http://www.strongmarriagenow.com
We all want something more out of our lives, from a better job to a better marriage, or maybe just a new car or to take a vacation. Whatever it may be, it’s safe to say that almost everyone wants something. Why not make it a reality this year?
To know what you truly want, you have to take a moment to assess what you have. Spend some time, preferably with your partner, to talk about the past year – what made you happy, your favorite memories, what you feel like you missed out on, and what you wanted to achieve that you didn’t get around to.
IMPORTANT: When you’re going over the past year, don’t dwell on perceived failures, this won’t do you any good. Don’t think in terms of failure, it will block you from success. Instead, think about your missed opportunities with a sense of optimism – it’s something to shoot for this year.
Talk to your partner about what’s important to both of you, and work on a plan to achieve those things. It may be useful to rank your goals in order of importance - maybe you’d really like a new boat, but sorting out the tension with your mother-in-law takes priority – when you know what you want to accomplish, it is easier to start working for it.
In your “year in review” conversation, make sure to talk about the good and the bad, and give them equal weight. If you and your spouse had a particularly great time at a friend’s dinner party, discuss the factors that made the evening special, and what you can do to recreate that feeling. If you had a particularly terrible argument, talk about it with a cool head, figuring out how to avoid hurtful language or how to approach disagreements constructively. Allow yourself to learn from the past year’s events, both positive and negative.
Resolutions don’t always have to be about change, either. Think about what you’re grateful for this year, and what you have to do to maintain that in the year to come. Talk about what is working well, and “resolve” to keep on track. If you’re still succeeding in last year’s resolutions, keep it up!
Starting the New Year can be a great opportunity to look at your life in perspective, to assess what’s truly important to you, and to take the first steps toward solving problems. Spend some time with your partner to determine where the two of you want to be, everyone wants something.
For more on how to work with your partner to achieve your mutual goals, check out the StrongMarriageNow System .
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, StrongMarriageNow.com
Dr. Dana just celebrated her birthday on December 19th. Dr. Dana's family and Amy's family went out to dinner to celebrate and then saw the new Sherlock Holmes movie. Lots of fun! Hope you are all enjoying your holiday celebrations!
Dr. Dana and Amy
Most people, especially parents, struggle with stressful feelings around the holiday season. Between the normal workday and year-round responsibilities, plus the added weight of gift shopping, holiday parties, visiting family, spending money, decorating, and extra cooking (this list goes on and on), many people struggle with feelings of anxiety, irritation, or downright depression. It doesn’t have to be this way, though!
Here at StrongMarriageNow, we are proponents of a simple philosophy: you are responsible for your own mood and attitude. If you allow yourself to be angry, you will be, but it is no one’s fault but your own. I’ll say it again – you are responsible for your own mood and attitude.
Now, let’s apply that concept to the holiday season. If you’re feeling stressed about decorating the tree, take a moment to reflect on how much you loved to decorate the tree when you were young, how special this moment is for your children, or much you’ll enjoy the tree when the decorating is finished. It will only stress you out if you let it.
When the stores are packed, and people are fighting over discounted electronics or this year’s popular new toy, instead of letting all of those people upset you, move calmly through the traffic. Demand serenity from yourself and you will have it.
It helps to remember that all the hullaballoo you go through around Christmas time, the baking, the gift-wrapping, is all means to an end, that end being making your friends and family happy. Relish in that feeling, and be prepared to receive their efforts for you. Allowing yourself to be stressed and angry will only nullify the positive effects of your actions.
If you speak your intentions aloud, and remind your family that you are putting in a lot of work (calmly and pleasantly, of course), they will most likely be all the more appreciative. Voice your choice to be in a good mood, and ask your family to do the same.
If dinner burns or the tree topples over, laugh it off! You’ve put in the effort, and there’s no use fretting over preparations designed for your enjoyment. What you accomplish will be great, and what you don’t will be OK too.
You’re supposed to enjoy the holidays. Make the choice to do so!
If you’d like more information on our proven step-by-step system to revitalize and save your marriage with no office visit, check out our Marriage Counseling System.
The holidays are a time full of togetherness and joy. It is also one of the busiest times of the year for many people. Because of all the extra shopping, decorating, parties, phone calls, company, and all other holiday related chores, it can be hard to find time to relax with your partner. In some cases, couples won’t even have a single hour during the week to just sit down and enjoy each other’s company. It is unfortunate that during these hectic weeks, the people we need the most can be the farthest away.
Couples counseling services are busiest during the month of January. Can you guess why? You might be inclined to think that it’s because couples have more time or money, or maybe you think it is because they are fighting more often. We have found that the influx of counseling in January is due to the small amount of personal time that is spent from the months of October to December. Relationships are not the first things on most couples’ minds, so problems can arise.
Time spent alone with your spouse is vital to maintaining a healthy relationship. After all, you can’t very well stay in love if you don’t spend one-on-one time together. It is during these personal moments that you develop good communication and show affection. You also get a chance to resolve any issues. So, what can you do to stay better connected with your partner this holiday season?
1. Bake cookies in the afternoon.
2. Go ice-skating, even if you fall over the whole time.
3. Go on a neighborhood tour and check out the lights.
4. Watch classic holiday movies.
5. Do some last minute shopping somewhere you both want to go.
6. Enjoy a glass of eggnog near the fireplace
7. Build a snowman in the front yard.
8. Cook a fancy meal at home, just for the two of you.
9. Wrap presents and donate them to charity.
10. Share a smooch or two under the mistletoe!
Don’t stress about your time alone. If you keep a positive attitude and stay grateful for all the good things in your life, come January you and your partner will be happier than ever.
Revitalize and Save Your Marriage With Our Free Webinar "5 Secrets to Save Your Marriage"
You will discover:
- The answer to "Can my marriage be saved?"
- How to fix your marriage even if you're the only one working on it
- 4 Relationship Myths that are probably getting in your way
- How to avoid common mistakes you may be making in your marriage. /li>
- The most important thing you need to do to save your marriage – And you’ll be surprised it’s practical and easy to apply for almost everyone
- Clear, straightforward steps that you can take immediately to get your marriage on track
Dr. Dana Fillmore and Amy Barnhart, StrongMarriageNow.com
It is sad that each year divorce effects almost 2 million people. Here at StrongMarriageNow.com we stress the importance of working through relationship troubles, because in the long run there are no benefits to getting a divorce. This point is driven home by researchers at the University of Arizona in a new study on divorce and death rates. As it turns out, getting a divorce is not only bad for your emotionally, it seems it may also increase your chance of early death. They found the rate of early death to be 23% more likely in adults who were divorced, versus adults who were married. The disturbing part is that this increased rate was found across people of all ages, from eleven different countries. You can ready more about the study here.
If you want to stay happy, healthy, and alive, check out the different programs Dr. Dana and Amy have to help you get your marriage back on track.
Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness!
Dr. Dana and Amy, co-Founders, StrongMarriageNow.com
Fix Your Relationship Problems & Visit http://www.strongmarriagenow.com
Want to get live marriage advice from Dr. Dana? Want to hear Dr. Dana candidly share her relationship tips on the radio? Rob and Patty Saul on the "Night View" show on Gashouse Radio will be interviewing Dr. Dana and accepting live calls. Rob and Patty have been married for four years and have a 3 year old child.
Listen to Dr. Dana LIVE on Gashouse Radio show on:
Tuesday, December 6th, 2011
at 10:00 PM EST/7:00 PM PST
She'll be taking calls on marriage counseling and relationships so call in to the studio line!
1-888-9-GASHOUSE
Tune in to Listen to Dr. Dana on Gashouse Radio
Hope you can tune in tonight...
Best,
Dr. Dana and Amy
Find The Best Marriage Help For You And Your Spouse. Visit http://www.strongmarriagenow.com
We never like to see a marriage fall apart, especially over infidelity. With all of the accusations flying around, there is no saying what really happened between Demi, Ashton, and any of the alleged third parties they may have been involved with. We do know, however, that things have gone sour, and we wish we could have helped!
Affairs are treacherous business, and threaten everything that marriage stands for. Stories of their “open marriage,” rumors of cheating behavior, and even the temptations of the celebrity lifestyle are all indicators that this relationship needed guidance. As they move forward with divorce proceedings, we wanted to offer some direction if you are facing similarly trying times. An affair doesn’t have to be the bitter end, and if you have been through one, we can help! It’s never too late to save your marriage.
Dr. Dana has outlined 7 Steps to Recover from an Affair, 7 principles that could have saved Demi and Ashton from divorce, and can save you too as you face this extremely difficult time in your relationship.
Despite what many people think, most of the time affairs aren’t really about the sex at all, but are rooted in much deeper emotional issues. Confronting these issues honestly can put your marriage back on track, if you’re willing to work for it. With Dr. Dana’s 7 Steps, you can get your marriage back, rebuilding trust and rekindling that spark, even after an affair. We only wish we could do the same for Demi and Ashton!
Watch the video below for 7 Steps to Recover from an Affair to save (and strengthen) your marriage today!
Want to Register for Our Free Webinar
"5 Secrets to Save Your Marriage?"
Feeling stuck? Want to save your marriage but aren't sure how? Register for our FREE "5 Secrets to Save Your Marriage" Webinar and you'll discover:
- The answer to "Can my marriage be saved?" Dr. Dana Fillmore will tell you how almost any marriage can be saved even if you’re the only one working on it
- 4 Relationship Myths that are probably getting in your way – Believing in these myths can actually prevent you from saving your marriage
- How to avoid common mistakes you may be making in your marriage. Did you know that most people’s attempts to save their marriage fail?
- The most important thing you need to do to save your marriage – And you’ll be surprised it’s practical and easy to apply for almost everyone
- Clear, straightforward steps that you can take immediately to get your marriage on track
Problems With Infidelity In Marriage.? Visit http://www.strongmarriagenow.com
